He's a Married Manager
by anime-is-dumb
Summary: 20-year-old Keitaro Urashima is still trying to get into Todai after two attempts. Now, needing a place to live, he goes to visit his grandmother at Hinata House. And he's bringing his young wife with him. No OC main chars! No OC's! hallelujah! No OC's!
1. The Happy Couple Comes Home

Okay, so...my first foray into actually writing fanfiction (I've read way too much of it...). Go easy on me. Or just rip me a new rectum, it doesn't matter. My feelings don't bruise that easy. There's a long Author's Note at the end explaining this pile of WTF, so read that first if you feel like it.

Don't forget to leave a review. Constructive, well thought out criticism is good. Flames, half-baked criticism, and the like will amuse the author, but otherwise not bother him.

All mangas/animes, their characters, any products, and anything else I mention in this story are property of their respective owners. Please don't sue me. All I've got is a laptop and an old Honda.

And remember, this is fanfiction. Try not to take it too seriously.

* * *

The two Japanese 20 year olds chatted amiably as they walked through Hinata City towards their destination.

Well, the young woman chatted amiably. The young man mostly just listened.

Both were casually dressed in t-shirts and jeans under their fall jackets, and wore simple gold wedding bands on their left ring fingers. The young man carried two small bags over his shoulders. The rather skinny young man had scruffy brown hair and wore square-rimmed glasses over brown eyes.

"Jeez, Keitaro! You didn't tell me I'd have to walk clear across Japan to get to this place!" joked the young woman as the playfully poked her husband in the ribs. She was a cute lady with shoulder-length brown hair, large brown eyes, and a lithe build with a modest figure.

"It's only a little further, Tomo-Chan. Two more turns, then across a bridge, through an alleyway and up a flight of stairs and we're there." said Keitaro Urashima with a smile towards his wife.

"I hope so, I can't wait to see this place! You've told me so much about it!" enthused Tomo Urashima as she danced and skipped several paces ahead of her husband, seemingly bursting with nervous energy.

"Well, just picture a big, very old inn with lots of trees around and a hot spring in the back, and you've got Hinata Inn. It's a beautiful place." said Keitaro with a sentimental smile.

"Let's get a move on then! Here, gimme my bag, I'll carry it." demanded Tomo as she lifted her bag off of her husband's shoulder, despite his protests.

"There, now you should be able to move faster. Now let's go Go GO-O-O!!!" yelled Tomo as she stuck a fist in the air and attracted a few odd looks from various passers-by.

"Yes, yes yes." agreed Keitaro with another smile. He took a moment to lose himself in thought.

_'I always thought I'd be bringing my promise girl back here, but I guess that's a dream I was never going to realize. I don't even remember what she looks like anymore.'_ Keitaro took another glance at his exuberant, smiling wife. _'Still, even if I did find her, I wouldn't trade what I have now for anything. Not even a position at Todai and a hundred billion yen to go with the promise girl.'_

As Keitaro returned from his thoughts, the scenery became very familiar. "Turn right at this alley here. You'll see the steps." instructed Keitaro.

They did just that, and soon they found themselves standing in front of a massive old wooden building, but not before Keitaro tripped over his own feet while climbing the stairs.

"WOW! This is great! I sure hope your granny lets us stay here!" said a wide-eyed Tomo as she stared up at the beautiful old building.

"Mmmhmm. Come on, let's go in and meet my grandma. I know she'll love you." said Keitaro as he took Tomo's hand and led her towards the building. Granny Hina had been out on one of her adventures when Keitaro and Tomo had married, and had missed her grandson's wedding.

With that, the couple slid the doors open and walked into the building.

* * *

"Hello? Aunty Haruka? Granny Hina? Anyone here?" called Keitaro as he looked around the building's interior.

"Oh yeah! This is just like one of those scary American movies! We enter a deserted building, and then stumble upon something horrible! Then, we spend the rest of the picture narrowly escaping bloodthirsty horrors, and then..."

"Tomo?"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe we should look around for people before jumping to any crazy conclusions, hmm?" asked Keitaro as he sweatdropped.

"Right, heh!"

"Let's go find the manager's office, I think it's down this way."

"Why don't I go see if anyone is down that hall? It looks promising." asked Tomo as she pointed in the opposite direction.

"Well, if you want to..."

"Ooh, and now we're splitting up! We'll be killed for sure when..."

"Tomo-Chan!"

"You're no fun." said Tomo with a wink as she stuck out her tongue.

The couple dropped their bags and went off down the respective hallways, with Keitaro calling after Tomo to remind her not to get lost.

* * *

Keitaro made his way down the hall and found a room door marked 'Manager'. After a knock didn't get any response, he slowly slid the door open and stepped inside. As expected, the room was deserted.

_'Jeez. I come all this way and Granny isn't even here.'_ mused Keitaro as he ambled around the room.

_'Wow...what a huge room! Well, I suppose I could take a load off for a minute.'_ Keitaro really was tired from his journey. With a sigh, he plopped down on the floor and leaned back.

_'This family of mine. You'd think they'd have taken some pity on me instead of kicking me out.'_ Keitaro's parents had informed him in no uncertain terms that he needed to quit with the Todai pipe dream, get employed, and get out of their house. Especially since he had a wife as well.

_'I suppose they're right. Still, they know I'm barely scraping by at the moment. And besides, I only failed that exam twice! And the second time, I was so-o-o-o close. I'm sure I'll get in this time around.'_

It was true. After beginning to date and later marrying Tomo, Keitaro's marks had indeed gone up. Probably because he wasn't so hung up on being lonely and could devote more brain energy to his studies.

Keitaro did a little more musing on his past.

_'Until I met Tomo, the only girl who had ever talked to me was the Promise Girl. I've never asked Tomo what she saw in me that day we met. I really should ask her.'_ At that moment, Keitaro decided to sit up, and reached into his bag and pulled out his print club sticker book, cracking it open to a random page in the middle.

Keitaro recognized the prints as being from when he was about 14 years old, only about a year before he'd started high school. A few more pages of lonesome pictures and Keitaro reached the first photo that had Tomo in it, from sometime during the second half of his first year of high school.

He smirked as he looked at his gawky, 15 year old self. The Keitaro in the picture looked a bit irritated with the lanky, big-eyed girl next to him, who was making a ridiculous face and was in an even more ridiculous pose. Both had on their school uniforms.

Scrawled next to the picture was a handwritten note.

_I actually took one of these pictures with a girl today. I never thought that would ever happen. Too bad it was that annoying Takino girl. _ Keitaro always laughed when he read that.

That day, Tomo, the wildcat girl from his homeroom who had refused to leave him alone during the few weeks that had passed since the day they had first laid eyes on each other, had caught him going into a print booth, much to his embarrassment

But, instead of laughing at him, she'd forced them both into the booth and demanded that he take a picture with her. Keitaro hadn't known what to say and just went along with it.

From that point on, every picture had Tomo in it. Some didn't even have Keitaro. Tomo had taken a liking to the print club booths and sometimes took pictures in them with her friends (who generally looked either annoyed or confused). She always made a point of giving him one, and for reasons unknown even to him, he'd always stick them in his book.

It was fun to flip through the Tomo pictures. The annoyed Keitaro slowly gave way to a somewhat amused Keitaro, to a happy looking Keitaro, to a Keitaro that looked at the girl with some affection. Eventually, the pictures involved the couple kissing or otherwise entangled in each other's arms.

Keitaro smiled and put the book back into his bag. _'Well, I've sat around enough. I'd better keep looking around here.'_

With that, he got up and went back out into the hall. _'I wonder where Tomo's gone. Eh, I'm sure she's fine. I'll go look around upstairs or something.'_ Keitaro turned and walked back towards the stairs, quietly making his way up.

* * *

Tomo had been making her way down the hall, peering into rooms and occasionally calling out to see if anyone was around. So far, she hadn't run across anyone. At the end of the hall, she came to another door, and decided to glance in and see what there was to see.

_'Hmm...showering area, stools and buckets, places for clothing...there must be a bath in here.'_

As she pushed further back into the room, she encountered another door that appeared to lead outside and proceeded to fling it open.

_'Oooh! The hot spring! Kei told me that they had one here, but I didn't think it was this nice!'_

With that, Tomo quickly shed her clothes, gave herself a quick scrub, and cannonballed into the hot spring.

"Onsen. Onsen! ONSE-E-E-E-N!!" squealed Tomo with delight as she surfaced and paddled around a bit, before finding a comfortable rock ledge to settle on.

_'Ahh. This is the life. Now I REALLY hope Kei's granny lets us stay here.'_

A few moments later, the door slid open, and a taller girl with squinting eyes and long brown hair with two odd antennae sticking out on top strolled into the spring area. She was naked apart from a towel loosely held to her torso.

_'Hey, she kind of looks like Yomi.'_ thought Tomo of her old high-school friend as she watched the unknown girl move in closer. '_Yomi's boobs are nowhere near that big though...'_

Tomo remained uncharacteristically silent as the girl walked right up to her and slid into the water next to her.

"Aah, this hot spring is great. Bathing in the mid-day is so luxurious!"

_'I guess she doesn't believe in personal space.'_ thought Tomo.

With that, the girl turned to Tomo and began speaking again. "Hey, take a look. Don't you think my boobs have gotten even bigger since last month? Still, they aren't as big as yours."

_'What? Is this girl blind?' _thought Tomo as she looked down at her own modest bosoms.

"Here, touch them! Haven't they gotten bigger?"

"Huh?"

"Come on, it's alright."

Tomo was silent for a moment. Then...

"Heck yeah I'll touch those melons! C'mere sister!" And, Tomo reached out with both hands and gave the girl's breasts a couple of firm squeezes. "Man, these are nice! I wish mine were like this!"

At that, the girl's facial expression suddenly changed. She reached for a pair of glasses she'd left sitting on the rocks, next to her towel, and put them on.

Tomo smiled and gave a small wave. "Heya!"

The girl was silent for a moment, with a blush rising on her cheeks. Then, she started to scream.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! Intruder! Intruder! Pervert! HEEELP!"

Tomo was incredulous. "Pervert? You're the one who wanted me to grab your boobs, you..."

Tomo didn't get to say anything else before a backhand swing sent her sailing through the door she had entered the onsen from.

_'Oh, forget this noise! I gotta get outta here before psycho boobgirl kills me!'_ thought Tomo as she picked her nude self off the floor and ran for her life. "Keitaro! Help!" she yelled as she ran in the direction she had come from, the other girl in hot pursuit.

On her way out, Tomo bowled over another rather well-endowed girl, this one with short hair and fox-like eyes.

"Sorry!" yelped Tomo as she didn't even bother to stop running.

"Naru!? What's goin' on?" asked the short-haired lady as her now-dressed friend chased the other girl.

"I don't know! The intruder was in the hot springs! She grabbed my breasts!" shouted an angry Naru as she continued to chase. "Help me catch her!"

_'Jeez! Now all of the people show up!'_ thought an increasingly desperate Tomo as she knocked a foreign-looking girl who was carrying a laundry basket out of her way. Tomo ended up with a bra in her hand.

"What the heck!?" yelped the foreign girl as she fell on her rear.

_'Keitaro, where are you?!'_ thought Tomo desperately as she flicked the bra out of her hand and continued to run from the thundering footsteps behind her, not even noticing the small, blue haired teen who's head the bra landed on. The blue haired girl stared in shock, before fainting.

* * *

Keitaro was actually upstairs, wandering the halls when he first heard the screams of 'intruder!' and 'pervert!' and 'she grabbed my breasts!'

_'Tomo, what have you done now?'_ thought Keitaro exasperatedly as he facepalmed and began to run back towards the building's entrance.

However, he was stopped by a rather severe-looking girl, dressed in a kendo uniform, who exploded out from one of the rooms, drawn katana in hand. "Where's the pervert intruder?!" she yelled, before setting eyes on Keitaro.

_'Man! Intruder! PERVERT! KILL!' _flashed through the sword-girl's brain before she turned to Keitaro. "You're going to regret coming in here, lecherous male!" she hissed, before screaming something incomprehensible and sending a ki-charged blast of air at a dumbfounded Keitaro.

"AAAAARGH!" Screamed Keitaro as he was blown back by the attack, before he picked himself up and began to run back towards the stairs for all he was worth.

At the top of the stairs, Keitaro collided with something. That something turned out to be his panicked, and very nude wife. Keitaro hauled her to her feet, grabbed her hand, and began to run down the hall with her.

"Tomo-Chan! Where are your clothes?!" screeched Keitaro as he used the hand that wasn't holding onto his wife to keep the blood from spurting out of his nose.

"I was in the hot springs! Some crazy boobgirl attacked me!"

"Boobgirl?"

"Yes!"

"Well, keep running! There's a scary woman with a sword chasing me!"

Tomo chanced a look back and saw an enraged kendo-woman chasing them with her katana raised over her head. "Oh god!" she yelped as she continued to run for all she was worth, holding her husband's hand.

In an instant, the couple found themselves outdoors, on the rooftop, and at a dead end. Behind them, they heard the five women they'd indirectly assaulted in one way or another pull up behind them. Both could practically feel the killing aura they gave off.

Tomo had moved behind her husband, who stood ready to eat any attacks sent towards her. "Heh-heh, let's not do anything rash, guys...we can talk about this." she nervously laughed.

"P-p-please! We didn't mean to cause any trouble! We're just looking for my grandmother, she owns this inn!" whimpered an obviously terrified Keitaro as he tried to stand his ground and stay in front of his wife.

"LIES! Screamed the one Tomo identified as 'Boobgirl'. This was an inn a long time ago, but now it's an all girls dorm! And you two don't belong here!"

"Girl's dorm?!" shrieked a shocked Keitaro.

At that moment, another, older woman made her presence known as she came to the top of the stairs.

"What's all this noise?" she asked as she puffed on a cigarette before she noticed the young man on the roof. "Keitaro?"

"Auntie Haruka!" yelled Keitaro as he ran over to the woman and gave her a hug. Haruka proceeded to bop him over the head with a fan, prompting Tomo to run over.

"Hey, don't hit him!"

Aunt Haruka raised an eyebrow at the girl, but otherwise had no reaction. "Okay, so...who's the naked girl?" she asked as if strange nude women showed up every other day.

"Oh! Haruka, meet Tomo, my wife!" laughed Keitaro nervously as he rubbed the back of his head. "She's not normally naked like this. "Tomo, this is Haruka, my aunt."

Tomo simply removed the hand and arm that was covering her chest and waved. "Hi! I'm Tomo!"

"Why don't we all go inside, calm down, and get some clothes on this poor girl before she catches a cold." muttered Haruka, before flicking her cigarette off the roof and walking back towards the stairs.

Everyone followed, with Tomo sticking as close to Keitaro as possible.

* * *

"...so, that's the whole story. I can't live with my parents anymore, I need a place to live, I'm trying to get into Tokyo U, I'm married to Tomo who is also going to an academy in Tokyo and works there as well."

"A MAN CAN'T LIVE IN A GIRL'S DORM!" shrieked an enraged Naru Narusegawa, the one Tomo had identified as Boobgirl earlier.

"Well now, Naru...to be fair, he's already spoken for, so I doubt he'd be a big problem." said Konno Mitsune, aka Kitsune, the short-haired woman that Tomo had mowed down in the shower area earlier. "And trying to be a Tokyo U student, hmm? Maybe one day he'll be a lawyer or a government employee..." mused Kitsune as she rubbed her chin and looked at Keitaro.

"A lawyer or government employee who is already spoken for!" grated a now-clothed Tomo as she possessively grabbed her husband's arm.

"Right, right." said Kitsune. Keitaro just looked confused.

"Besides, from what I've heard, he's not nearly as perverted as his spouse." muttered the kendo woman, who had introduced herself as Motoko Aoyama.

"Hey!" Tomo pointed at Naru. "She's the one who told me to grab her..."

"Anyway!" Keitaro cut his wife off before she or Naru could start yelling. "Haruka, I've been meaning to ask, just where the heck is Granny anyway?"

"Oh, she's off on another one of her trips. She's looking for the fountain of youth or something." said Haruka with a dismissive wave of her cigarette. "She did leave something for you though, something that you and your wife will definitely be interested in."

"What's that?" Tomo looked interested as well.

"I'll show you. Wait here for a moment." with that, Haruka stood up and strolled off towards the manager's office. A moment later, she returned with a thick manila envelope, which she handed to Keitaro. Keitaro opened the envelope and looked inside.

"She wants to give me this place? And have me manage it?" Keitaro looked shocked, but not quite as shocked as...

"A MAN CANNOT OWN AND RUN THIS DORM!" screamed Naru so loud that everyone covered their ears. "I WON'T ALLOW IT!"

"Ah'm not sure if we have a choice, Naru. He's Granny Hina's grandson and she gave him the deed." noted Kitsune.

"SO WHAT?!"

"I am very _unhappy_ about this turn of events." noted Motoko as she glared daggers so sharp at the couple that both of them shuddered involuntarily. "I will have to accept this arrangement, but don't expect me to accept it gracefully. Urashima's status as a married man is the only reason I haven't beheaded him already."

Naru looked ready to explode at Motoko's words. Motoko should've been her staunchest ally.

"She's stipulated that you only own the place if you're the acting manager." Haruka spoke up again. "She didn't say anything about your wife, but I don't think that matters. Granny would want her to live here too."

"All I have to do is sign these?" asked Keitaro. Haruka nodded. Keitaro turned to his spouse.

"What do you think, Tomo?" A couple of the girls looked surprised that Keitaro wanted his wife's opinion.

"Would we get to use that hot spring every day?" asked Tomo with hearts in her eyes. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Uh, probably."

"Then hell yeah you better sign those papers!" everyone facefaulted. Keitaro signed. Haruka took them, and noted that she'd have them registered the next day. Naru simmered, but didn't say anything.

"Um, you two s-said you were married?" asked the small blue-haired teen, who had introduced herself earlier as Shinobu Maehara.

"That's right." said Keitaro, smiling at his wife.

"A-ano, you seem young to be married...I mean! I mean!! AAAAUUUU!!! I didn't mean to be rude!" the now-mortified girl wailed.

"It's okay, Shinobu-Chan!" said Tomo. We met in high school, and got married a year after we graduated!

"H-how did you meet?" asked the timid girl.

Tomo jumped up! "Oh, it was so romantic! Love at first sight!"

Keitaro coughed.

"Well, for me it was!" exclaimed Tomo.

The foreign girl, who called herself Kaolla Su, had been sitting some distance away from the group, fiddling with some tool, suddenly hopped over. "Su wants to know how such a goofy-looking guy found a girlie to marry!" she said excitedly.

"I too am interested in how two such strange people came together." said Motoko, the slightest hint of a blush on her cheek. _'Maybe I could incorporate their story into one of my novels.' _ she thought.

Tomo excitedly launched into the story of the courtship between her and Keitaro.

"I met Keitaro when he transferred to my high school, partway through first year! One day, I came to school late, so I decided to stand out in the hallways with 2 buckets of water as punishment!"

"You mean, the teacher sent you out for punishment?" asked Kitsune.

"Heck no! I just wanted to stand out there with buckets of water, because I'd never done it before!" Kitsune sweatdropped.

"Anyway, I was standing out there for like twenty minutes, and someone tricked me into raising my arms, so I ended up falling over. Of course, at that instant, Keitaro was walking towards my class, so I not only doused him with water, but slipped in it and fell right on top of him!"

"It was not what I was expecting on my first day." piped Keitaro.

"Anyway, when the room stopped spinning, I realized where I was and looked down. Keitaro was just the cutest guy ever! With his glasses and big brown eyes, and his wet hair, his face all twisted in pain because I'd fallen on him and my knee was jammed in his crotch!"

Everyone looked at each other and sweatdropped.

"I looked at him and said 'hey there handsome! What's your name?"

"No accounting for taste, I suppose." mumbled Motoko, earning a glare from Tomo.

"And then Keitaro said...what did you say, Keitaro?"

"I said, 'please get off of me'."

"Right! So then I asked him what his name was and where he was going because I hadn't seen him before, and it turned out he was in my homeroom! So, I dragged him into the class and introduced him to everybody. Then Yukari-sensei told us both to shut the hell up and sit down, so I stuck him in the seat next to mine, and that's where he stayed for all three years."

"And, that weirdo liked you after that?" asked an incredulous Naru, who had been listening while trying to look like she wasn't listening.

"Oh, no! I don't think he wanted me anywhere near him!" Everyone face-faulted.

"I wasn't that bad!" said Keitaro.

"Anyway, for the next almost two years, I spent as much time around him as I possibly could! During school, after school, lunch, anytime! I even started doing his print club stickers with him!"

"Oooh?! What's a print club sticker? Can you eat it?!" asked Su

"No, they're just these booths you go into and get pictures taken with a background on them. Keitaro's hobby was going into these things by himself and getting the pictures and saving them, which is like, totally lame!" Keitaro looked chagrined, while a few of the girls snickered.

Suddenly, Tomo looked a lot less enthusiastic. "But he never seemed to respond to any of my flirting or anything. Still, he was always polite and kind about it, which my friends normally wouldn't even do when I bothered them, much less anyone else."

Keitaro put his arm around his wife, earning a few coo's from Shinobu.

"Even though his lack of interest was breaking my heart, the way he was always so nice no matter what I did made me like him even more." she continued. Finally, about a week before third year was going to start, I just out and asked him if he thought I was a bad person, or ugly or something. He said no, so I asked him what it was."

"Why didn't my nephew want you?" asked Haruka.

"Well, he sighed and led me to a place to sit and told me all about the girl he'd met when he was a child, who he'd promised to meet at Tokyo U one day."

Naru, who had been silently fuming over their new manager and his wife, perked up at this.

"I thought it was the sweetest thing I'd ever heard, so I told him I'd stop bothering him so he could find his promise girl, and that I just wanted him to be happy, and that I hoped he would be. He got real quiet and I just got up and walked away, sort of crying."

"Aaaauuuu! How sad!" cried Shinobu, who looked on the verge of waterworks herself.

"Anyway, this guy avoided me for the next few weeks, and I barely saw him at all." said Tomo as she nudged her husband. Keitaro grunted.

"Then what?" by now, Kitsune was fully engrossed in the story.

Before Tomo could say anything, Keitaro answered. "One day, during lunch I found Tomo up on the school's roof by herself. I walked over to her and asked her out on a date." said Keitaro.

"And then?"

"She smacked me in the face." everyone gasped.

"You'd avoided me for nearly a month! And then just asked for a date out of the blue!" exclaimed Tomo.

"I know."

"I asked him about his promise girl and everything he'd said." explained Tomo.

"And I told her that I'd done a lot of thinking. If I couldn't even remember what my promised girl looked and sounded like, let alone her name or the exact promise we'd made, there was no way I'd ever find her. I'd promised her that we'd go to Todai and find happiness. But, I'd decided that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to try and find some happiness before going to Todai. So I did." said Keitaro, again wrapping his arm around his wife.

"And the rest is history!" exclaimed Tomo, waving her wedding band.

"Aaauu! How romantic!"

"Nice goin', tiger." agreed Kitsune.

"That is a good story, even if a vile, lecherous male is involved." agreed Motoko. Keitaro sweatdropped.

Tomo had more to say.

"Yeah, and all of my friends and two of my teachers were totally jealous that I had a boyfriend and they didn't!"

"Teachers?" asked Kitsune.

"Heh, yeah. My English teacher Yukari-Sensei and my Phy Ed teacher Nyamo-Sensei. Those old spinsters are probably still single." laughed Tomo.

"Tomo, they're only 5 or 6 years older than us, hardly old and gray..." reasoned Keitaro.

"You know, after we got married, I went and visited the old school while you were at a practice exam." said Tomo.

"Oh?" this was news to Keitaro.

"Yeah! I went to Yukari's class and told her I was married and showed her the ring and she was all like _'Oh! I'm so VERY VERY HAPPY FOR YOU!' _and _'I'm sure you and your husband will be SO HAPPY TOGETHER! Well, I'm happy too! VERY VERY HAPPY BEING SINGLE!'_ And then, she started crying right in front of her homeroom class, so I just left." finished Tomo.

Everyone, Keitaro included, sweatdropped massively.

Naru, however, had slowly been boiling over the whole time. And then she exploded.

"So, you just threw away your promise to that girl?!" she screamed. "How could you?!"

Keitaro shied back. "I didn't give up, I just changed it a little! She wanted me to go to Tokyo U and find happiness! I've just found my happiness first and now I'm trying to get into Todai! Besides, I doubt she remembers me anyway...it was so long ago. It'd be ridiculous to think that we'd both remember and find each other after all these years."

"NO IT ISN'T! SHE REMEMBERS! A WOMAN WOULD REMEMBER THAT PROMISE!" screamed Naru, catching everyone off guard.

"Why are you so angry, Naru?" Kitsune's normally slit-like eyes were fully widened at her friend's outburst.

"Just...just...just forget it, alright?!" growled Naru before stomping off towards her room.

"What was that about?" asked Tomo. Everyone shrugged.

Motoko took that opportunity to ask Tomo where she was going to school, and what for.

"I'm studying criminal justice at Tokyo Metro, and then I'll transfer to the National Police Academy! I'm going to be a Tokyo cop!" Tomo jumped up and did the 'V for victory' sign as she said this.

"You'll be a wonderful police officer, Tomo." agreed Keitaro.

"And, one day I'll be an officer with the ICPO!"

Nobody noticed Keitaro's twitching at the word 'ICPO'. He decided not to mention that Tomo had no idea how to join the ICPO.

Motoko, who had been unimpressed and slightly bothered by how this woman had blindly chased a man and romance during her high school years, suddenly found herself impressed.

_'She's going to be a police officer? Protecting and serving people? And her husband supports her! He's not controlling at all, and even though she's found love she's still going after a lifestyle that will require strength of both body and character?'_ Motoko didn't know what to think. The goofy woman and her nebbish husband had completely shocked her, and challenged her notions and assumptions of male-female relationships in one quick swoop. Perhaps her sister was right. She decided to meditate later, and ponder this.

Finally, the conversation wound down and Haruka showed the pair to their room, which was actually Granny Hina's old room. Keitaro noted that the ceiling had a large hole in it, and resolved to fix it soon. A second futon was brought in from another room and laid next to the first, giving the couple a full-sized bed.

Keitaro called his folks and arranged for the rest of his things to be brought to Hinata House. Tomo did the same.

* * *

After a eating delicious supper, prepared by Shinobu, and where Naru seemed conspicuously absent, Keitaro and Tomo went out to the roof to look out over the lights of Hinata City.

"I'd forgotten how beautiful this place is at night." mused Keitaro as he hugged his wife closer.

"It is great." agreed Tomo, resting her head on Keitaro's shoulder, admiring the way the city's lights played on the Bay of Sagami. "I have to admit, I was worried about what we'd do, but I guess luck was on our side today."

"More or less, Miss Nudist." joked Keitaro, earning himself a jab to the ribs.

A quiet rustling caught their attention, and both looked up.

"That's Shinobu." noted Keitaro as they gazed upon the small figure standing on the peak of the roof. She'd been watching the couple but, now that they'd seen here, she was intently watching the city.

"Let's go up." said Tomo, not waiting for an answer as she grabbed her husband's hand and dragged him up. "Hi Shinobu!"

"Hi." the retiring girl said quietly.

"What are you doing up here, it's kind of dangerous." asked a slightly nervous Keitaro.

"This is my favorite place at Hinata House. I often come up here at night to think."

"About what?" asked Tomo.

"About school, and other people. And my life." said Shinobu. "Actually, I wanted to talk to both of you."

"Oh?"

"A-ano...it's just, you both seem so happy, and are chasing your dreams. I just wanted to know...um..."

Keitaro quietly encouraged the girl to go on.

"How do you do it? I can't do anything, really. And I'm not smart so I do poorly in school. I don't know how I'm supposed to make it to college or make anything of myself this way." said the small teen as she looked down at her feet.

"Well, you can't have that kind of attitude and expect to do anything." said Keitaro.

"R-really?"

"Yup! And don't worry about smarts, because I'm not smart at all!" exclaimed Tomo, giving a thumbs-up as she did. Shinobu sweat-dropped a bit and Keitaro raised an eyebrow. "My friends always told me I was stupid, but I didn't worry about it! I just worked really hard when I needed to, like when I wanted to get into the same high school as my friend, and when I wanted to get into the police academy! And here I am"

"Right, you've got to be persistent." said Keitaro. "I won't give up on my Todai dream, and you shouldn't give up on your dreams."

"Exactly. Like, I wanted to be with Keitaro, and I chased him around for two years, refusing to give up on him!" said Tomo. "And I wore him down too, so now he's all mine!" As she said this, she looped an arm around his neck and yanked him down, so his head was mashed into her chest. She didn't seem to notice his flailing arms and blue face. Shinobu looked chagrined at the dorm manager's situation, but didn't say anything.

"Just keep your head up and keep trying your best, and you'll succeed." concluded Tomo, as she released Keitaro's head from the mammary prison. Keitaro nodded after catching his breath.

"Yes, I will! Thank you both!" exclaimed a blushing, smiling Shinobu before she bowed to both of them and scampered down off the roof, calling a 'good night' to both of them over her shoulder as she did.

"She's a nice girl." mused Keitaro.

"Yup. I hope we have one like that someday." agreed Tomo as she wrapped an arm around Keitaro's waist.

Keitaro suddenly looked a bit warm under the collar.

"Aw, don't tell me my little Kei-Kei still gets embarrassed when talking about having kids with his wife?" teased Tomo.

"Heh-heh. Someday." said a dazed Keitaro.

With that, the pair went down off the roof to retire. On the way to their room, they ran into a pajama-clad Naru.

"I'm in the room right above yours, so try to keep the noisy perversions to a minimum." she said as she glared at them.

Tomo's hackles went up. "Well, he's my husband and this is his building, so I can do something perverted to him if I damn well-"

"Tomo-Chan, it's late, let's not fight with the residents." Keitaro laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck as he said it. "Let's just go to bed."

The two women glared at each other for a second, before Tomo relaxed and agreed. Naru also went off towards her room after giving Keitaro a scowl.

As they got ready for bed, Tomo gave Keitaro's rear end a squeeze, which caused him to yelp.

"Hey, Kei-kei, why don't we take our new bed for a test drive, hmm?" she asked in a seductive tone as she breathed in his ear.

"Tomo-Chan!"

* * *

So, that's chapter one. If you're going to complain in a review that this story seems to be more about Tomo than Keitaro, don't. It was sort of necessary in this chapter, but future chapters are going to be very Keitaro. And, do please review and tell me what you thought, regardless of what it was.

Anyway, I guess I'm writing this story because I'm a Love Hina fan (duh) but lately I've gotten a bit put off by some Love Hina fanfiction. And this is why:

To me, LH has a 3-pronged story, with several side tracks relating to them. The 3 main points of the story in my eyes are

1. Keitaro's budding relationship with Naru (and the other girls finding affection for him too).

2. Keitaro's Todai dream with his promise girl.

3. Keitaro's presence at Hinata House slowly turning it's residents into reasonable, happy human beings (instead of the borderline damaged psychotics they are at the start.) who will one day function properly in society (or something like that.). Basically Keitaro turns their lives around in one way or another.

Anyway, the third prong is by far my favorite aspect of the story, but LH fanfiction generally focuses on the first thing (and a bit of the second) to the point that the third one is almost completely lost. The closest we usually get is one of the girls suddenly having an epiphany about how they treat their manager and feeling guilty/falling for him/trying to change/etc. When, in the real media, the girls don't even treat Keitaro **THAT** badly, usually.

BLEH! Bleh I say! I've had enough. Yes, budding Romance is lovely and great to read and all, and a main point of LH, but I'm ready to try something different.

So, my oh-so-original idea (heh, yeah right. And my junk is 10" long and ejaculates money and chocolate...) is to just take Keitaro off the market right at the start. Yep, he's married. Married to another character from another manga, making this a dreaded, evil crossover. Feel free to stop reading at this point if you hate that sort of thing. Actually, since this author note is at the end of the first chapter, you probably did already. I promise this won't be too cross-over-y though. Other characters aren't going to be showing up a lot or anything.

This story will take from both the manga and anime as I see fit/as it is convenient. Some chapters will be longer, some shorter.

Keitaro is still Keitaro, obviously. A bit shy, still a bit of a clod (though, that will be improved a little bit since he's now rather intimate with a woman, he won't freak out so much around them, so all mishaps will be solely because of his natural clumsiness instead of creepy awkwardness.) and still trying for Todai.

I couldn't decide which manga/anime heroine to pair him up with, because I think OC's are usually stupid, but I eventually settled on Tomo Takino from Azumanga Daioh. I dunno, I guess I'm just a big fan of her character, and I thought her dialog with Keitaro and the LH girls would be the most entertaining to write/read. Plus, she's kind of an anti-Keitaro. He's studious (though not that good at it) and she's (usually, but not always) a slacker. He's not really a true pervert...and she kind of is (she's got a boob fixation and likes dirty jokes/sex stories). She's more hyper than he is. He's quiet and reserved, she's a mischievous wildcat. Kind of like a hybrid of Kaolla and Kitsune...minus the mad scientist skills and alcoholism

And, I guess they kind of look like a realistic couple. Keitaro is decent looking, skinny, short, and has dark hair and eyes. Tomo is kinda cute, skinny, short, and has dark hair and eyes. If Keitaro isn't roping himself a Hinata House beauty, a plainer girl like Tomo is what I'd expect him to end up with.

And, I think Tomo will help Keitaro help the Hinata girls.

Okay, I'm sick of writing this AN. Look for chapter 2 in the future. And reviews are good. Leave one.


	2. Day One

Ah, chapter 2 is upon us! This chapter is mostly about Keitaro's and Tomo's first day at Hinata House, from morning until nightfall. And maybe a hint of the next morning too.

Side note: Whoa! 20+ reviews at the time of writing this. I was going to be happy if I got 5 or 6. I guess I have to continue this now, heh. I'd like to thank everyone who read my story, and double-thank those who reviewed it as well. Keep on fan-fic-ing, everyone.

I've had a few people privately ask a similar question about this story, so I'll answer it. It maybe a spoiler, but I'll tell it anyway. Nobody will be stealing Tomo's man from her. This isn't really a romance story anyway, apart from some normal affection/teasing between our leading pair. It's more of a 'slice of life', so no worries for our happy couple. Besides, would you be brave enough to try to steal Tomo's husband?

As usual, I don't own squat, so please don't sue me.

* * *

Early Monday morning found all of Hinata House's residents, save Keitaro and Tomo, at the table enjoying one of Shinobu's delicious breakfasts.

"Hey y'all, where's the dorm manager and his wife?" asked a rather loosely-dressed Kitsune as she finished her plate.

"Maybes they're in the bath!" exclaimed Su as she hunted around the table for anything else to eat. Su was already dressed for school, as was Shinobu in a matching uniform.

"No, we would've heard them." Like Su and Shinobu, Motoko was groomed and dressed for the day, in her dark blue high school uniform.

"Hmmph. Maybe the perverts are still tired out from last night's 'activities'." grumbled a different-looking Naru. Her long, reddish-brown hair was tied back in two thick braids, and her face was obscured by massive coke-bottle glasses.

Keitaro and Tomo hadn't made too much noise the night before, but the few noises that had drifted up were more than sufficient to keep Naru awake long after any noises ceased. She was just thankful that futons can't squeak.

Naru decided that the next time she saw Keitaro, she was going to have him fix the hole in his ceiling/her floor.

"Sounds like somebody is annoyed that she wasn't invited." joked Kitsune with her trademark foxy grin as she pulled a bottle of sake out of nowhere and began to drink. "Ah wonder if they'll be enjoyin' that marriage bed every night, hmm?"

Naru's eye twitched.

Motoko and Shinobu both turned beet red.

Su just looked confused.

"So, what do y'all think of our new residents, anyway?"

"They seem very nice." squeaked Shinobu as she cleared the table. Shinobu thought they were more than nice, but didn't say anything. As far as she knew, none of the other residents knew of her late-night conversation on the roof with the couple, nor did they know of her habit of watching the city from the rooftops late at night.

"I likes Tomos!" Su jumped up and down excitedly as she spoke. "She looks funs! And I bet Keitaros will be good for experiments!"

Everybody sweatdropped.

"I have not known them long enough to make a judgment, but their very first impression was not a favorable one." stated Motoko.

Naru just grumbled something that sounded like 'stupid Tomo' and 'perverts'.

"I wonder when they're going to come down to breakfast?" Shinobu looked concerned.

"In any case, it is time for me to leave for school. I bid all of you farewell." Motoko stood up gracefully.

"Me too, I've got a cram-school exam today." said Naru.

"Su, make sure you leave for school on time." called Motoko over her shoulder.

"Roger that! Shinomu always makes sure I go on time!" said Su as she saluted Motoko. The middle school that Su and Shinobu attended began a half hour after Motoko's high school. Naru had a long train-ride to take to her cram school.

Su ran off to her room to do who-knows-what, while Shinobu finished clearing the kitchen and Kitsune continued to enjoy her bottle of sake at the table.

A moment later, they heard a yell and a big commotion upstairs, followed by...

* * *

_A short time earlier... _

"Urrgmmmpph." mumbled Keitaro as he woke up to find a weight on his face. Keitaro opened his eyes and saw that Tomo's left forearm was laying across his face. Her left leg was also invading his space as she slept next to him, sprawled out and snoring softly.

"Jeez, Tomo." muttered Keitaro quietly as he moved her arm off of his face and laid it next to her. Tomo just snorted in her sleep and rolled over, drooling a little as she did. Keitaro chuckled a little at the sight.

His amusement was short lived as he glanced at the clock, however.

_'Nine o five?! Oh no!'_ Keitaro's mind wailed as he realized he had a cram-school exam today. Tomo also had morning classes at Tokyo Metro. Keitaro's mock-exam marks had improved to the point that he honestly thought he had a shot at Todai. To start doing things like this would ruin everything.

"Tomo-chan." Keitaro shook his wife gently.

"Mmrrghh...Luuuu-paaaan."(1) muttered Tomo in her sleep.

Keitaro sweatdropped. Firmer shake.

"Tomo! Wake up!"

Tomo groaned and rose up from her pillow. "Kei-Kei?"

Keitaro pointed to the clock.

Tomo stared for a second, and then....

"AAAAAAAAGH!!"

Both of them immediately ran for the small upstairs bathroom near the manager's room, a tangle of limbs and water as they both washed their faces and brushed their teeth in front of the mirror. A second later they both charged back into their bedroom, clothes flying as they rapidly got dressed.

A few more seconds and the couple were running back downstairs towards the kitchen.

* * *

...Keitaro and Tomo both exploding through the door into the kitchen, surprising both Kitsune and Shinobu, who dropped her washcloth.

"We're so totally late! Holy freakin' crap!" wailed Tomo as she chugged a glass of water and stuffed a piece of bread in her mouth. Keitaro did the same.

"Comff on Fromo!" Keitaro's words were obscured by the toast as they both ran towards the front door, threw on their shoes, grabbed their bags, and charged out of the dorm's main entrance.

Shinobu and Kitsune both stared.

"My my my...talk about two peas in a pod." said the foxy lady to nobody in particular.

"I guess they were late." said Shinobu as she picked up her washcloth. "I'll just put their plates in the refrigerator."

Shortly after that, Su and Shinobu left for their middle school, and Kitsune sidled back to her room to try writing an article, and to drink, though not necessarily in that order.

* * *

"Wait! Stop!" Keitaro yelled as the tram moved off into the distance. It was no use.

"Just keep going! Maybe we can catch them at the next stop!" yelled Tomo as she ran alongside Keitaro.

Keitaro just grunted and ran for all he was worth.

A few moments later, the two did actually manage to catch the tram, and bustled their way aboard, promptly collapsing to the floor in a fit of huffing and puffing.

"We...*huff*...made...*puff*...it." wheezed Keitaro.

"Yeah...*gasp*...we...*kek*...did." agreed Tomo.

Both sat and caught their breath for a moment before speaking again.

"I guess it's a good thing I didn't get a chance to use the bath. I would've gotten all sweaty and gross anyway." said Tomo. A few people edged away from her as she said it.

"Yeah. I guess we forgot about the commute to Tokyo from Hinata City. I wonder why the alarm didn't go off." said Keitaro.

"I don't think we ever set it. Too busy doing other things." Tomo smirked as she nudged her husband.

"Heh-heh. Yeah, that would explain it." Keitaro looked embarrassed

The couple continued to make pleasant small talk and recover as they rode the tram towards the main train station and the train that would take them into Tokyo.

Neither of them noticed the bookish-looking girl with thick braids and an orange 'SALEM' sweatshirt watching them from the other end of the tram.

* * *

"So, do you have to work tonight?" asked Keitaro as he and Tomo stood in front of Jah-Jah-Moh Tutoring School.

Tokyo Metro was about half a mile north of Keitaro's cram school, in a busy district. Tomo had decided to see her husband off and then make it the rest of the way to her school on foot.

"Yeah. From noon to six. Hopefully I'll make it on time after class ends. It totally sucks, I won't be home until after seven-thirty probably." Tomo was silent for a second, then... "Hey!"

What?"

"Did you hear what I said? Home! We've got our own place to go home to! Isn't that great?" enthused Tomo.

"It is." agreed Keitaro with a smile. "Though, we do seem to be sharing it."

"But you still own it." Tomo looked at her watch. "Oh crap, I really gotta go, class starts in 25!"

"Me too. I'll see you tonight, Tomo-chan."

At that, the couple shared a brief kiss before running off in different directions.

* * *

Keitaro rushed to his cram class with only a few moments to spare. As he ran through the door, he said "Urashima here! Sorry I'm lat—WAH!"

"WAH!"

Keitaro had just bowled-over a rather nerdy-looking girl in an orange sweatshirt.

_'Why does she seem familiar?'_ thought Keitaro as he stood up. _'Probably because we go to the same cram school, you dolt.'_ he mentally berated himself.

"Gosh, I'm so sorry! I was just rushing because I was late, and...!" Keitaro rambled as he extended a hand to help the girl up. She simply stood up by herself.

"Ouch." said the girl as she rubbed her head, jiggling her braids in the process.

"Are you alright?" asked Keitaro.

The girl seemed to recognize Keitaro's voice, and when she looked up at him, she appeared quite startled, and quickly power-walked away from him.

_'What in the heck?'_ wondered Keitaro.

"Well well well, look who it is, Shirai. The man who won't even hang out with his friends anymore, now that he's married." came a voice from behind Keitaro.

"You'd think she'd let him out of the house _sometimes._" joked another voice.

Keitaro turned around.

"Keitaro!" A taller young man with small glasses, and a short, rather portly young man with large round glasses stood there, greeting Keitaro.

"Hey Haitani, hey Shirai." Keitaro respectively greeted his friends. The two were ronin like himself, Haitani also a second year and Shirai a first year ronin.

"Lookin' awfully tired there, Keitaro. Did Tomo keep you up last night, hmmm?" joked Shirai.

Keitaro looked embarrassed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, actually we overslept because..."

"WAAAAAAAHH!" Keitaro was cut off as his two bespectacled friends began to strike dramatic poses and cry, sending huge founts of water from behind their glasses. "It's not fair! How can Keitaro Urashima, the most hopeless of us all find himself married and spending every night with a woman, when we can't even get a woman to talk to us, much let us take them out on a date!? Why have the gods of fortune smiled upon him?!"

Keitaro sweatdropped.

The two snapped out of their drama act as quickly as they had begun it, and went back to hassling Keitaro.

"You know Keitaro, your scores on the mock exams aren't so bad this time around. Look, you're just in the top third on this last one, not bad. You'd better not start slacking and letting your scores drop, or you'll never get into Tokyo U." noted Haitani.

"I know." muttered Keitaro.

At that moment, the glasses-girl from earlier walked in and sat down, and Keitaro found himself looking at her again and wondering why she seemed so familiar.

"Oh-ho-ho, not even married for two years and your eyes are already wandering, eh Keitaro?" Shirai nudged him.

"What?! No!" blustered Keitaro. "I knocked her over earlier when I was coming into the classroom. She wouldn't even talk to me when I apologized. She seems familiar for some reason."

The girl twitched slightly when he said this, but otherwise did nothing.

"She does go to the same cram school as you."

"You know, that's what I thought too."

"Anyway, she's really famous around here. She ranked first on the last national prep exam!" noted Haitaini excitedly.

"FIRST PLACE?!" Keitaro was awestruck. "I didn't know people like that even existed! Hey, maybe one of you guys should ask her out. Maybe she'd help with your studying. You could be a 4-eyed study couple!" joked Keitaro.

"You've got glasses too." grumbled Haitani.

"Besides, she's probably all rotten inside from studying alone all the time." noted Shirai.

"Heh, yeah. She's probably a total battle-axe." agreed Keitaro, remembering her strange actions earlier.

At that, the girl stood up and stalked over, stopping in front of Keitaro. All three men looked nervous.

"Excuse me, but could you follow me for a second?" asked the girl.

"What?"

"JUST COME ON!" she yelled before hauling Keitaro out of his chair by the ear and dragging him off. Shirai and Haitani didn't know what to think.

Outside the classroom, the girl began talking. "I heard what you jerks were saying about me! Who's the rotten four-eyes?!"

"Look, I already apologized for knocking you down..."

"I don't want some pervert idiot who's married to an even bigger pervert idiot saying stuff like that about me!"

"...just who are you, exactly?" Keitaro was shocked that this woman knew anything about him.

"Don't you even recognize me?"

Keitaro took a glance at the class ranking that was still in his hand.

_1. Narusegawa Naru, 98.12 percent._

"Gah! You're the first-rank?!" Keitaro was shocked.

"Yes, you idiot!"

"I didn't recognize you."

"Ugh. Anyway, your scores aren't so bad." said Naru as she pointed to Keitaro's name, about a third of the way down the page. "You'd better not let your wife and your new job as manager at the dorm ruin your chances. The entrance exam is only a couple weeks away" said Naru before walking off.

"And don't tell anyone I live with you!" she called over her shoulder.

"Hey, wait!" yelled Keitaro, as he chased after Naru.

Unfortunately, Keitaro tripped over his own feet and practically tackled Naru from behind.

"Argh!"

"YOU IDIOT! DON'T DO THINGS LIKE THIS IF YOU'RE A MARRIED MAN!"

"I'm sorry, I just fell and..."

**SMASH!**

A firm right hook sent Keitaro flying back off of Naru and into a far wall.

"Jerk." With that, Naru sniffed and walked away, leaving Keitaro to drag himself up off the ground and to class.

"Ow."

* * *

_Higher learning at Tokyo Metro..._

Tomo did her best to quietly enter the lecture hall, where class was already 10 minutes into session. Unfortunately, the door made a cracking sound as it opened and everyone turned to look.

"Uh, heh." Tomo smiled sheepishly and tried to silently make her way towards an empty chair.

She kicked over one girl's drink, noisily bumped her hip into someone else's chair, and accidentally smacked a guy in the face with her backpack on the way to the empty seat.

"Sorry." she whispered before sitting down. The other student just glared.

Down at the front of the lecture hall, the professor just sighed and facepalmed.

_'That damn Urashima woman...'

* * *

  
_

Keitaro's face felt like he'd tried to catch the flying General Lee with it as he went to his first exam and sat down.

_'Ugh. I said I was sorry.' _he grumbled internally before sitting down. He was shocked when he saw who sat down next to him. _'Oh crap!'_

_'Oh great, now I have to sit by the idiot.'_ thought Naru.

Keitaro realized he was getting worked up and that his face was still bothering him, so he did something that Tomo's best friend, Yomi(2) had taught him. Something she'd learned to do when Tomo got a little too aggravating. He began counting to 50, then from 50 back to zero, and then he pictured a blue sky with fluffy white clouds in his head.

Keitaro would never tell Tomo this, but he occasionally used it in regards to her as well. Thankfully, Tomo was getting less brainless with age, though no less rambunctious.

It worked. Five minutes later and Keitaro felt relaxed. He attacked his mock exam with a newfound zeal and focus.

Unfortunately, next to him, Naru was still fuming and couldn't seem to concentrate on any of the exams.

At lunch, Keitaro found himself broke, starving, and his face was still thumping a bit from the Tyson-humbling punch Naru had given him, but he felt pretty good about his test scores.

_'I've never felt this good about the math or the classic literature! I think I might really make it when the real exam comes! Now I just wish I had some food....ugh. I'd even eat Tomo's fried rice.'_

Tomo had once tried to make pork fried rice for him because it was his favorite food. She had somehow managed to burn the rice and leave the pork raw. Disaster. Tomo's cooking was improving though, and she did simple things like rice balls marvelously. Keitaro was wishing he had about 10 of those rice balls right then.

After checking his wallet and finding that he only had enough for train fare home and nothing else, since Tomo was the one who usually had any money. Keitaro put his head down on the table to relax for a bit and enjoy the cool sensation on his face.

Across the room, Naru noticed that Keitaro wasn't eating and looked tired. She looked at her own rather sloppily made but filling lunch and decided a quarter of her sandwich could be spared. She stood up and walked over to Keitaro.

"Hey!" Keitaro looked up.

Oh, hi Naru. I really want to apologize again about earlier..."

"Eh, don't worry. Aren't you going to eat?"

"I'm broke and didn't have time to bring anything."

"Well, I wasn't going to eat this, so here." she thrust a chunk of bread and unknown innards at him.

"Thanks!" said Keitaro as he grabbed the food and took a bite. _'Not bad. Definitely better than it looks. I prefer Tomo's sandwiches though.'_ "It's good."

"It comes at a price, though. Your first action as caretaker of Hinata House is going to be repairing my floor. It holds a lot of nice memories, since Granny Hina used to live under me, but with you and your wife right there, it's just not appropriate."

Keitaro chewed then spoke. "Consider it done. We've got the day off tommorrow, so I'll probably get to it then. That hole looks pretty dangerous anyway."

Naru nodded and walked away, just as Shirai and Haitani walked up.

"Hey Keitaro, wanna come with us after exams are over to check out that new American movie, _The 50-Year-Old Registered Sex Offender_?" asked Shirai.

"Oh, I can't. I'm broke, and I've got to go home to study and wait for Tomo."

"You're so whipped. Wait...go home? I thought you got kicked out of your parents' place. Where are you and Tomo living, anyway?" asked Haitani.

"Yesterday my Granny gave me a building. It's an all-girls dorm, and I'm the manager.

Haitani and Shirai were silent for a second, and then...

"WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! WHY, GODS OF FORTUNE!? WHYYYYY?!" yelled both as they cried to the heavens.

* * *

_They got the Big Mac, I got the Big Mag. We both got two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions, but their buns have sesame seeds. My buns have no seeds. _

Tomo blew in through the employee door of Magnetron Burger(3), five minutes late for her shift.

"Sorry I'm late, Mr. Okajima!" exclaimed Tomo as she ran past him to put on her polyester vest and hat. "I was late getting out of class and had to run here!"

"Just hurry up and get to work, Urashima." grumbled long-suffering fast-food manager Rokuro Okajima. "You're on fries until 4, then counter duty until your shift is over, got it?"

"Right on!" Tomo disappeared into the employee locker rooms as her boss turned to go back to work.

_'*Sigh*. Another night with my nutcase subordinates at good 'ol Magnetron Burger. I wish something exciting would happen to me for a change. Not that it would matter...I'm nobody...my family doesn't even care enough about me to call since big brother got that fancy government job...'_ thought Mr. Okajima dejectedly as he walked back towards the front of the store. When he got there, he heard a commotion and found a rather striking Chinese-looking woman with tattooed arms getting into a heated confrontation with some rough-looking Yakuza types. She was flanked on either side by two male westerners, one a small blonde with glasses and a ponytail, the other a hulking black man with a shaved head and sunglasses.

_'Great, just what I need today. A fight in the restaurant. Better go over there...'_ he thought as he ambled over.

Tomo grumbled as she changed into her uniform. _'Ugh. What a day. Slept in, forgot my textbook, was late to class, late to work, and now I'm not going to get supper or see Kei-Kei until late. Bah. BAH! And I wanted to ask Shinobu to teach me to cook...Stupid Mondays!'_

She walked out just in time to see a terrified man in a white shirt and tie being dragged out of the restaurant at gunpoint by an enraged-looking Chinese woman and two Westerners who were trying to calm her down.

_'Was that Mr. Okajima? Naaaah, I must've imagined it. Nobody brings guns to Magnetron Burger. Time to make the fries! Gross! I always smell like fries after this...'_

And, with that, everything at Magnetron Burger number 219 went back to normal. Nobody even noticed Mr. Okajima's disappearance.

* * *

_'Phew...what a day!'_ thought an exhausted Keitaro as he moseyed towards the train that would take him home, an equally tired-looking Naru Narusegawa walked beside him.

As they silently entered the train and sat down facing each other from opposite sides of the coach, they both thought how lucky they were to have caught a non-crowded train.

Shortly thereafter, they both nodded off in their benches.

At the next stop however, the train suddenly jammed full of people. The two sleeping students were jolted awake to find themselves being sardined by a horde of commuters in the train car.

Keitaro opened his eyes to find himself being crushed into his seat by what appeared to be an entire girls middle-school tennis club, who had apparently had a late practice at a nearby school.

"Hi there! Sorry about this." said one particularly vacant-looking girl as her rear end was shoved closer to his face.

_'Ugh. I can't wait to get home.'_

On Narusegawa's side, she woke to find herself surrounded by older men, who seemed drawn to her, somehow. Or maybe it was the girls' tennis team they were drawn to.

"Hello there little lady, what's your name?" asked one of the old guys as his crotch was pressed closer to Naru's face.

Naru boiled with rage and pulled a book out to block the view.

* * *

_I am in love with the Magnetron's Girl! She is an angel in a polyester uniform!_

The young, twenty-something gas-station attendant steeled himself as he walked through the doors of the Magnetron Burger he frequented during his second-shift dinner break.

She's there, at the counter. She always works the evening shift on Mondays.

He smoothed his hair, squared his shoulders, and walked up to the counter. Today was the day.

"Welcom...oh, hi Kenichi! What can I get you?" Tomo recognized the regular customer.

"Hello, Tomo-san." He was nervous. "Actually, there's something I want to ask you, and have for a while."

"Oh?"

"Yes, I...uh..what I mean to say is, um..."

A glint near the counter caught his eye.

A gold ring.

On her left ring finger.

"...is that a wedding band?" he finished lamely.

Tomo looked down. "What? Oh, yeah! I've been married for about a year and a half! My husband owns a dorm!" Tomo didn't bother to mention that it hadn't even been 24 hours since he'd taken possession of the place.

"I...see." Kenichi's sails went slack.

"Is that what you wanted to ask me."

"*sigh* I guess so."

"Okay! So, what do you want to eat? The usual?"

"Actually, I don't feel very hungry anymore. I think I'll just go back to work. Bye."

And with that, Kenichi turned and slowly walked out the restaurant, shoulders sagging and looking as though he wouldn't care if he got hit by lightning right that second.

"Weird." said Tomo as soon as the doors closed.

* * *

Keitaro and Naru were nearing the long staircase leading up to Hinata House when Keitaro decided to try and start a conversation.

"Hey, Narusegawa, how do you think you did on the mock exams today?"

"Probably worse than usual." she said curtly.

"Heh-heh, I see. I think I did about the same as usual." he lied. "Anyway, I've been meaning to say something to you since yesterday."

"Yes?"

"Uh...heh. I realize that you and I, and you and Tomo didn't get off on the best foot, did we?"

"That's putting it mildly."

"Right! Well, you've probably realized that I'm a walking disaster with the clumsiness, and that Tomo is...well...Tomo."

Naru snorted.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, Tomo and I are probably going to aggravate you and the other people in this place more often than not...but, we don't mean anything by it. We don't want to make any of you angry."

Naru's face softened a little.

"I know we've kind of annoyed you from the start, and what happened today didn't help." Keitaro took a breath. "And I know that Granny leaving and me suddenly owning the dorm and being it's manager was a big shock for everyone. Well, I'd like for us all to be friends here, since we've all got to live under the same roof. I don't want any hard feelings, so...friends?" Keitaro extended his hand. Naru looked at him for a moment, and then let a small smile creep onto her face.

She shook it. "Friends. Now, let's go in. I'm exhausted and Shinobu probably has dinner cooking."

"Right!" Keitaro turned to go up the stairs and fell flat on his face as soon as he started climbing them.

"AGH! Ow....jeez." muttered Keitaro as he pulled himself up.

Naru just huffed and roughly hauled him to his feet before walking on. Keitaro followed and the two entered the building.

* * *

Naru told Keitaro to have someone get her when dinner was ready, and went off to her room to relax and study. Keitaro trudged over to the couch in the main room and plopped down, letting out a huge sigh as he did. For a few moments, he just sat there, trying to recover from a long day, before sitting back up and looking at his watch.

_Hmm. Not even six yet. Tomo won't be home for another hour and a half, at least.' _Keitaro looked forward to seeing her again. In the meantime, he decided he'd better make his rounds of the dorm building and take note of anything that needed repairs soon.

As he was pulling out a small notepad and writing _Item 1: Narusegawa's Floor_ in it, Motoko and Kitsune entered the room, surprising Keitaro.

"Heya, Keitaro!" Kitsune was cheerful.

"Greetings, Manager-san." Dour as usual, Motoko.

Keitaro's head shot up with a start. "Oh! Hello Kitsune, hello Motoko."

"What'cha doin' there, Keitaro?" asked Kitsune as she plopped down on the opposite end of the couch to Keitaro. Motoko gracefully lowered herself into the nearby chair.

"Oh, I'm going to make a list of the things that need repair around here. I've already got the first task. Gotta fix Naru's floor." said Keitaro as he tapped his notepad. "Do either of you know of anything that needs doing?"

"Well, now that ya mention it, I've got a burned out light bulb in my room. I can barely read the labels on the bottles." replied Kitsune.

_'Bottles?'_

"My window is not sealing properly, and it is causing a draft at night." noted Motoko. "I would appreciate having it repaired as soon as possible."

"Consider it done." Keitaro jotted the items down in the notebook.

"So, Keitaro, a little antenna-haired bird told me just now that you and Naru go to the same cram school." teased Kitsune.

"Heh...uh, yeah. It's true." Keitaro laughed nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I ran into her there this morning. Literally. Didn't recognize her with those glasses and that hair, though."

"What else happened?" asked Motoko.

"Well, she ran away before I could apologize, then she overheard my friends say something about her and dragged me off and told me who she was, and then I tripped over my shoelace and fell on her, and she decked me."

"Oh my!" Kitsune looked amused.

"Yeah. Then we had to sit next to each other during all of our exams which didn't help. Then she gave me a bite of sandwich at lunch, we took some more exams, and then we came home on the train. We sorta came to a peace agreement outside, so hopefully there won't be much more tension."

"I see." the kendoist replied.

"So, think your chances of getting in are good this time around, Keitaro? I can't imagine you want to be called a third year ronin, now do ya?"

"Haha! No, I wouldn't. I think I'm doing well this time. Heck, I was so close it wasn't even funny last time."

"Well ya know, Naru is plannin' on Todai too. Maybe y'all should try helping each other study." suggested a thoughtful-looking Kitsune.

"Hmm. Might not be a bad idea." agreed Keitaro. "I can always use extra help with math and English."

"Where is your wife, Keitaro?" asked Motoko.

"She has to work until 7."

"Your wife works and you do not?" Motoko raised an eyebrow.

"I was taking odd part-time jobs for cash every week. But, I think keeping this place standing is going to end up being a full time job, judging by the state of it." said Keitaro as he looked around. "So, I'll probably stop doing the part-timer stuff. Tomo works at a fast-food place near her school, to pay for her books and tuition."

_'Working to pay her way through school? That odd woman is more ambitious than I thought. Being married has not caused her to cease following her dreams.' _mused Motoko.

At that moment, Shinobu came in and announced that dinner was ready. Kitsune left to get Naru and Motoko was about to stand up and go to the dining area when Keitaro spoke.

"Would it be okay if you just set aside two plates for me and Tomo, Shinobu? I don't want her to have to eat all alone tonight."

"O-oh-okay!" said Shinobu in her usual nervous manner.

"Thanks."

Motoko didn't show any outward signs, but inside she was thinking hard.

_'He's very devoted to her, and considerate of her feelings. I wonder if more men are like him.'_ In a brief moment of impulsiveness, Motoko asked a second question, one that had been biting at her behind since meeting the pair.

"Keitaro, why did you begin a relationship with Tomo-san?" Even Motoko looked surprised at the question.

Keitaro simply shrugged. "I spent a lot of time thinking about her when we were avoiding each other during third year. That, and my life suddenly felt completely off-kilter without her around."

_'Falling in love in reality seems to be nothing like the stories I write. If anyone finds those, I'll never live it down.'_ thought Motoko as she simply nodded at Keitaro's statement. At that, she walked off to the kitchen, Shinobu following close behind.

After watching the girls leave, Keitaro hauled himself to his feet, grabbed a flashlight, and began his self-guided tour of Hinata House.

"I guess we'll start with the ground floor. Hmmm...that floorboard is crumbling..." Keitaro mumbled to himself as he strolled off, jotting things in his notepad.

* * *

_Welcome to Magnetron Burger, home of the Magnetron Burger, can I take your order?_

"Welcome to Magnetron Burger! What would you like?" Her shift was almost over and Tomo was on autopilot, her smile more plastic than the plastic cups the large soft drinks were served in.

"A medium order of fries and a small cola, please." replied the equally tired-looking female customer.

"Would you like fries with that?" asked Tomo.

"Uhmm...no thank you." the customer sweatdropped.

"That'll be 443 yen." said Tomo as she rang up the order.

Just then, Kuki, Tomo's co-worker walked up to the second register. Kuki's shift beginning meant Tomo's was ending.

"YAY! SHIFT'S OVER! SHIFT'S OVER!" screeched Tomo before she turned tail and ran to the employee locker room, punched out, and dashed out of the eatery.

"Hey! What about my fries?!" yelled the customer.

"Tomo, wait! Have you seen Mr. Okajima?!" yelled Kuki at the same time.

Tomo didn't hear either of them.

* * *

"I'm home! Keitaro?! I'm HO-O-O-OME! Yelled Tomo as she entered Hinata House and kicked off her shoes. It was about 7:30 at night.

At her yelling, Keitaro came down the stairs. "Tomo-chan!" When Tomo saw Keitaro, she bounded over to her husband and gave him a kiss. "Welcome home, Tomo-chan."

"Hey, Kei-Kei! Whatcha been up to?"

"Going around the place, looking for things that need repairing. And it's a lot of things. I don't think Granny was all that handy with a drill and a hammer." muttered Keitaro.

"Well, what's for dinner? I'm starved! I can't eat that Magnacrap food!"

"I don't know what Shinobu made, but it smelled great. I had her put two plates aside for us.

"You mean you didn't eat yet?" Tomo looked shocked.

"No, I waited. I didn't think you'd want to eat alone."

"Awww, you're so sweet, Kei-Kei." cooed Tomo, pinching his rear as the two walked into the kitchen.

"Tomo-chan!"

* * *

After a pleasant dinner of still-delicious leftovers, courtesy of Shinobu and the microwave, Tomo patted her stomach.

"Ooh, I'm stuffed!"

"Maybe that's because you ate half of my food too..." muttered Keitaro under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing!"

Tomo sniffed their air. "Ugh, you're a bit ripe, Keitaro. And I smell like french fries. Let's go bathe and take a dip in the hot spring!"

"Together?"

"Duh! What else?"

"Heh, right!"

Shortly after, a scrubbed Tomo and Keitaro approached the door leading out to the spring. Keitaro had a towel carefully fastened around his waist. Tomo was unashamedly nude, swinging her towel around as she sang. "Hot spring, hot spring, hot spring!(4)" At reaching the door, Tomo flung it open. "Yo, anyone out here?!" There was nobody. Tomo promptly jumped in, her husband carefully entering the water behind her.

"Oh yeah, talk about livin' it up!" exclaimed Tomo as she put her hands behind her head and languidly stretched out next to her husband on the rock ledge.

"Aaahh..." Keitaro agreed.

"So, how was your day?" asked Tomo, turning to look at Keitaro.

"Long. 6 tests. And I got beat up by Naru at cram school."

"Huh?"

"Yep. Turns out she goes to Jah-Jah-Moh just like me. Only she goes in disguise, in these massive glasses and two ridiculous hair braids. She looked like the Swiss Miss girl's nerdy sister. I didn't know who she was at first."

Tomo started laughing, then got serious so quickly that Keitaro sweatdropped. "Why'd she beat you up?"

"I accidentally knocked her over twice. The second time pissed her off, so she decked me."

"Why, that bitchy..." Tomo clenched her fist and stood up, before Keitaro stopped her.

"Don't worry. We called a truce, and she apologized. It's fine now. I said I wanted us to all be friends here."

"If you say so..."

"I apologized on your behalf too."

"Hey!"

"You know, Kitsune and Motoko suggested she and I help each other study, since we've both got the same goal. What would you think of that?"

"I guess it couldn't hurt...but I'm not going to like it if she hits you."

"Right. So, how was _your_ day?"

"Ugh! Late to class, weird customers at work, my manager disappeared, the usual."

"Sounds like quite a day." said Keitaro, unsure what to make of that last part.

"Yeah." said Tomo with a sigh as she rested her head on Keitaro's shoulder. "Mmm...this is nice. You know, if someone told me before our third year of high school that I'd be married to you one day and we'd have a place like this to live in, I'd have laughed in their face."

"You probably would've laughed in their face no matter what they said."

"Yeah...HEY!" Tomo jabbed her husband with her elbow as he snickered. "Still, this feels like a dream."

Keitaro surreptitiously reached down and pinched Tomo's nude behind, a little retribution for earlier.

"Eek!"

"There, now you know it isn't a dream."

"Keitaro!" Tomo laughed and dunked her husband in the water.

The pair were oblivious to Shinobu, who had been standing inside the door, listening to the happy pair. She had been trying to find them so she could inform them where to put their laundry, but she'd ended up eavesdropping.

After she heard Keitaro and Tomo exit the water, she quickly vacated the area.

_'I hope I find happiness like that, one day. I'll work hard at achieving my dreams!'

* * *

  
_

Keitaro and Tomo decided to turn in early, and went straight to bed from the hot spring.

"Goodnight, Tomo-chan."

"Mmm...'night, Kei-Kei."

Kiss.

Soon, the pair were softly snoring, but someone in the room above was still awake.

Against her better judgement, Naru slowly slid Liddo-Kun away from the hole in her floor and glanced down. She saw Keitaro and Tomo sleeping comfortably spooned together, both with happy expressions on their faces. She sighed.

_'I can't believe that idiot abandoned his promise to that girl. Though, I suppose he only promised to meet her at Todai...maybe he hasn't abandoned it. But now he doesn't even seem to care if he finds her.'_ The sight of the slumbering pair had her thinking of her own promise, to a Seta Noriyasu, her former tutor and subject of an almost crippling crush. She had also promised to see him at Todai one day. _'I guess there was never any chance of Seta and I ending up like that, huh?'_

Keitaro snorted a little in his sleep, pulling Tomo closer and sort of nuzzling her hair.

_'My parents never seemed that happy together, even when I was a small child.'_ Naru noted as she watched the couple a little more. '_I guess they aren't so bad. Good for both of them for finding someone who makes them happy.'_

Naru silently put Liddo-Kun back in place before glancing back to her study materials. She didn't really feel like it anymore, so she decided to crawl into bed as well.

_'Sometimes I feel so lonely up here. Maybe a study-buddy would help.'

* * *

  
_

OMAKE!

Day Two:

"_Hey Keitaro, think fast!"_

"_TomoAAAAAGH!" ***splash!***_

Tomo walked into the kitchen bright and early, looking like the cat who swallowed the canary. She and Keitaro had remembered to set their alarm this time. She plopped down in a chair and waited for Shinobu to serve her some breakfast.

Kitsune, Naru, and Motoko sat in a line on the other side of the table.

"Tomo-san, what was that noise?" asked Motoko, who was already in her high school uniform.

"Oh, Keitaro likes to bathe before he eats breakfast, so I chucked him into the spring!" said Tomo with a grin and a V-sign. Motoko sweatdropped.

Tomo noticed that she was seeing Motoko without her kendo uniform and chest bindings for the first time. Then she looked over at Naru, who was wearing a tight sweater, and Kitsune who, as was usual in the mornings, was barely dressed at all.

"So, does that hot spring have some special boob-enlarging power or what?"

Kitsune's eyes widened. Naru's chopsticks snapped in half. Motoko turned beet red.

"What?"

"I swear, every girl in this place is stacked like a double Big Mag!" continued Tomo as she looked at the three, rubbing her chin. "I'd sure like to know _those_ measurements!"

Right at that second, Keitaro walked in, looking like a (clean) drowned rat. "Onsen's free."

"Keitaro! Do you wish my boobs looked like that?!" Tomo pointed vaguely in the direction of the three girls across the table.

"Tomo-chan, I think you're lovely just the way you are..."

"A-a-ano, I'm not very large..." squeaked Shinobu as she placed a pot of miso soup on the table.

"Hmm...you're right. Wait, how old are you, Shinobu?" asked Tomo as she glanced sidelong at Shinobu and continued to rub her chin.

"T-t-twelve." said Shinobu as she clutched her apron.

"Hmmm." Tomo continued to stare for a moment, before wailing. "Awww! She's WAY bigger than I was at twelve! Even little Shinobu is gonna have a bigger chest than me! Osaka's(5) right! I'm so Japanese!(6)"

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Tomo-chan?" asked Keitaro as he rubbed Tomo's back.

_'I don't think there are going to be many boring days around here in the future.'_ thought a still-red-faced Motoko.

* * *

So, there's chapter 2 of our little story. I guess Tomo's boob obsession strikes again. I bet Kagura and Sakaki would understand how the three Hina girls feel. Read, enjoy, be merry! And leave a review if you're so inclined.

Speaking of reviews, I just took a gander at the first chapter before uploading this. More than thirty! I'm pretty shocked. But in a good way.

And, guy who wanted to know about their marriage consummation...of course they have! They're a young married couple. Heck, the first chapter ends with Tomo all set to take a ride on the Keitaro Express fer cryin' out loud!

Anyway, you probably saw the numbers while reading this story. I'll explain those things here.

(1) Tomo is a big fan of Lupin III. Specifically, she's a fan of Fujiko Mine, the heroine of the story, a rather ample-bosomed beauty who is also the main love interest of the title character. Tomo fancies herself to be like Fujiko at times...even though they're nothing alike...and her Fujiko impression is beyond horrible.

(2) Yomi is Koyomi Mizuhara, Tomo's best friend from Azu-land. She kind of looks like Naru (glasses and all), has a temper, and plays the straight woman to Tomo's wildcat. She's a good student as well, very intelligent. Worries about her weight and diets too much.

(3) Magnetron Burger is a Mickey D's clone in the Azuverse. A couple of the characters have part-time jobs there. I figured it'd be a good place for Tomo to work part time to find tuition money.

If you can guess where the Magnetron Burger intros come from, or what's going on with Mr. Okajima, you get a gold star.

(4) Tomo really does have an annoying habit of sing-songing words multiple times, if you haven't noticed already.

(5) 'Osaka' is actually Ayumu Kasuga, another Azu-Girl...probably the most popular one, or maybe 2nd most popular. She comes up with the whole 'You're Japanese' thing in relation to bust size. She's a total space case, but is still a really fun character.

(6) In Azumangaland, girls with small busts are referred to as 'Japanese' and well-endowed girls are referred to as 'American'. Medium sized girls are called 'Hawaiian', halfway between America and Japan, I guess even though, as Yomi points out, Hawaii is part of America.

Thanks for reading. Keep it real.


	3. Home Improvement and a Birthday

AN: Here we are, third chapter! Yay! All characters, media, and anything else I mention are property of their respective owners. I'm just borrowing them for non-profit reasons.

I want to thank all of my readers and also the reviewers. I was not anticipating much of a response to this story. Shows what I know.

As for the Magnetron Burger intros, they are from the movie _Coming to America_, the Friedman (later popularized by The Blenders and the Barenaked Ladies) song _'McDonald's Girl'_, and the Nickelodeon TV skit/movie _Good Burger_, respectively.

* * *

Enjoy the third chapter! Read, review, be merry. Keitaro and Tomo have been at the Inn for a couple of weeks at this point.

_The previous evening..._

_'Oh beef bowl, sweet, sweet beef bowl, come to daddy!'_ thought Keitaro as he settled into the well-worn chair of a beef-bowl diner near Tomo's school.

The cheap, dim, but otherwise excellent little restaurant was a popular spot for Tomo and Keitaro to stop together for lunch after a long day at cram school and college. Keitaro certainly had no complaints about a place that sold big portions of one of his favorite foods for extra cheap. Even better that it was only a few blocks walk from Tomo's campus.

As he was trying to eat, an agitated male voice at a nearby table caught Keitaro's attention. He looked over to see a tall guy angrily shoving food into the face of a rather unremarkable-looking brown-haired girl.

"_There! If you're going to eat all of my food at home, you might as well eat all of it here too! Just eat all the damn food! Have you eaten enough yet?!"_

"_GYABO!"_

Keitaro sweatdropped.

Then, he swung his head over in the other direction at another noise. A lanky woman about the same height as Motoko and a young man who couldn't have been much taller than Kaolla appeared to be having their own lovers' spat.

"_Chibi-kun!"_

"_Amazon!"_

_'Ugh, what is this? The noisy weirdo couples section? Can't I just eat in peace?'_ Keitaro's annoyance was rapidly growing as he tried to eat his beef bowl. Then he looked over at Tomo.

"_Ahahahaha! This is the end of the line, beef bowl!"_

"_Nooo! Don't let her eat me!"_

"_I will help her eat you, and victory will be mine!"_

"_Ooohhh noooo!"_

Yes, Tomo's chopsticks were having a conversation with her beef bowl. Keitaro sighed and went back to his own food.

_'I guess we're in the right section after all.'_

Tomo stopped her impromptu food-puppet show and began eating as well. After a few bites, she turned to Keitaro and began to speak.

"Hey, Kei-Kei?"

"Mm?"

"You've got the day off tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah."

"What are you gonna do? Study?"

"Nah. Now that we've got the first round of rent, I can start making repairs to the inn. I told Motoko and Naru that I'd have their rooms fixed by now, but I didn't think the Inn's coffers would be so empty."

_'I almost wonder if the old bat took the money with her for her trip.'_ Keitaro grumbled in his head.

"Ooh, ooh! I'll help you fix the place up!" Tomo excitedly bounced in her chair. Keitaro looked a bit nervous.

"Well, if you want, I guess...and you aren't going to study or anything..."

"Heck no! I wanna help you!"

"Well...o-o-okay, I guess..." Keitaro sounded a bit hesitant. _'Please don't let her blow anything up please don't let her blow anything up please don't let her...'_

Keitaro and Tomo ate in companionable silence before something that had been biting at Keitaro finally voiced itself.

"Hey, Tomo?"

"Hurmph?" Tomo had a mouthful of rice and beef, some of which flew out and landed on the table.

"Have you noticed that Shinobu has been acting kind of strange lately?"

Tomo swallowed "How do you mean?"

"I dunno, she just seems really withdrawn these past few days. She won't hang around and talk to anyone, she just scampers off as soon as she can."

"Hmm. I guess she did run away from me yesterday, now that you say it..."

"I mean, I know she's usually quiet, but today she wouldn't even talk to me." Keitaro looked thoughtful as he chewed another bite of beef. "I wonder what's bugging her."

Tomo was quiet a moment before she took on her famous mischievous grin. "Hey, Kei-kei?"

"Hmm?"

"It's too bad you don't have a brother Shinobu's age."

"What?"

"I think she likes you." Tomo's voice took on a teasing air.

"D-d-don't be ridiculous!"

"Keitaro has an admirer! And she's a middle-schooler! How scandalous!"

"Come on, Tomo!"

"She always blushes and stutters around you! And I bet you don't mind it at all, you dirty old lolicon, you!" now Tomo's grin was positively evil.

"I AM NOT A LOLICON!" yelped an increasingly irritated Keitaro as he waved his arms around.

Now, the other couples in the restaurant were looking strangely at Keitaro, instead of the other way around. Keitaro just let his head sink and went back to his beef bowl.

"Well, it's better that she's into nice guys like you, instead of some big jerk that'll only want to get her clothes off." said Tomo offhandedly as she returned to her food.

Keitaro just sat and fumed.

Shortly after that, the couple finished their food, got up, and began walking towards the train that would take them back to Hinata House.

* * *

Upon arrival to the old inn, Tomo immediately kicked off her shoes and skipped over the to the couch, plopping down on it and turning on the TV. Keitaro did the same, at his usual slower pace.

Keitaro plopped down next to his wife and glanced at the TV. Some goofy kid in an obnoxious orange suit was yelling at some other people in equally silly clothes. Keitaro guessed from their weapons that they were supposed to be fighters of some sort, but all they were doing was standing around and yelling at each other.

"What're you watching?" asked Keitaro.

"I dunno. It's completely lame, whatever it is." muttered Tomo as she reached for the remote.

"Yeah, this _is_ dumb." agreed Keitaro. Tomo flipped over to the evening news and leaned back into both the couch and her husband.

"_In other news, Mr. Okajima Rokuro of Tokyo is still missing. He was last seen being dragged by three suspicious persons out of the Magnetron Burger where he was employed as manager. If anyone knows of his whereabouts, please contact the Tokyo police with any leads immediately."_

"Isn't that your manager?" asked Keitaro as a photo of the man was shown onscreen.

"Yeah, it is. That explains why he hasn't been at work, I guess." Keitaro just sweatdropped, before turning his attention back to the TV.

Sometime during the news broadcast, Tomo had fallen asleep on Keitaro's shoulder. Soon, Keitaro nodded off as well.

A short while later, Motoko silently entered the room. She found a softly-snoring Tomo and Keitaro asleep on the couch. Tomo was drooling on Keitaro's shoulder. Motoko picked up the TV remote and turned off the set, before taking a glance at the couple.

She sniffed and stuck her nose in the air, silently stalking out of the room. But, as she reached the door, something stopped her. She turned and looked back, taking in the peaceful expressions on the couple's faces. After another moment of watching them, she sighed, turned around to fetch a blanket, and draped it over the sleeping couple, before again turning and making her exit.

* * *

_Everyone's home..._

The next morning, Tomo was the first to wake up. She glanced around groggily, before wiping the drool from her chin and yawning. Unfortunately, nothing short of a trip through the laundry would get the drool off of Keitaro's shirt.

_'Huh, I wonder who put a blanket on us?'_ thought Tomo before she turned to her man.

"Keitaro, hey Kei-Kei? Wake up!"

"Mmrgph...not tonight Tomo, my back hurts..." Keitaro mumbled in his sleep before snoring again.

"KEITARO!"

"WAGH!" Keitaro jolted awake. "Oh, g'morning, Tomo-chan." Keitaro looked around.

"Why are we down here?"

"We must've fallen asleep. C'mon, let's go take a bath!" Tomo's usual energy was already back, full force as she jumped up and dragged her husband with her.

"You really like that hot spring, don't you?"

"Hell yea!"

"Tomo?"

"What?"

"What's this stuff on my shoulder?"

"Maybe you drooled in your sleep."

A moment later, Tomo and Keitaro were both in towels and going to the spring. Well, Keitaro was in a towel, Tomo was swinging hers around again.

"How come you never just wear the towel, Tomo?" Keitaro was genuinely curious.

"Pffft, who wears a towel to a hot spring?"

"Most people." muttered Keitaro under his breath.

Tomo flung the door open. "HOT SPRING!"

Motoko, Kitsune, and Su all jumped at the noise.

"Oh, g'mornin' y'all." drawled Kitsune.

"Heyas!" agreed Su.

Motoko was not feeling so friendly. And her sword had appeared out of nowhere.

"How dare a male enter this hot spring while 3 innocent young maidens are bathing?!" Motoko yelled at Keitaro. Kitsune's eyebrow went up at the word 'innocent' but she didn't say anything.

Motoko then turned to Tomo. "And how dare you bring him in here, you perverted woman with no sense of modesty!" Tomo still hadn't bothered to cover up.

Before either of them could say anything, both had been launched from the onsen via God's Cry Airlines, The Least Friendly Service in the Air. Tomo's towel had been blown from her hand, but Keitaro's remained fixed to his waist.

"OH KAMI-SAMA, WHAT HAPPENED!?" screamed Tomo as she clung to her husband.

"WAAAAAGH!" was all Keitaro could say as the two of them flew out over the dorm and towards Hinata City.

Back at the hot spring, Kitsune and Su looked a bit shocked.

"Gawd, Motoko! Don't ya think that was a bit much?" asked Kitsune.

"Motokos needs to calms down before she pops a blood vessel!" Su was bouncing around Motoko, taking in her red face and tensed up body.

Motoko just slowed her breathing and wordlessly exited the hot spring.

"What the heck?" wondered Kitsune to herself.

* * *

_Half an hour later..._

"So, why aren't we dead?" asked Tomo as she and Keitaro struggled up the front steps to the old Inn.

"Urashimas have always been pretty sturdy people. And, apparently they make good landing cushions for others as well." Keitaro deadpanned.

"heh-heh."

"You _are_ okay, right Tomo-chan?"

"I'm fine. I think you broke the fall. What the heck was that thing she hit us with anyway?"

"I don't want to know." Tomo had to agree with her husband. "The more bothersome thing was landing in the middle of town with only one towel between the two of us."

"Hey, at least those two old ladies got a sight they're never going to forget!" They had landed on the street, just as two old ladies were crossing it.

"Your hind end or my full frontal?" smirked Keitaro.

"...both?"

"Right. Both." agreed Keitaro.

"Oh well, we figured it out. I'm sure those people won't even notice the clothes missing from their lines!" Tomo tried to sound optimistic.

She was clad in a pink frilly top that was about 4 sizes too big and a pair of pinstriped pants that were equally oversized. She looked almost as ridiculous as Keitaro, who was wearing blue plaid trousers and a bright red aloha shirt that wasn't quite big enough.

"Let's just hope they didn't see us. And let's get into our room before any of the residents _do _see us."

The pair hurried into the house and up to their room to change.

* * *

"All right, I'm gonna get to work." said Keitaro as he stepped out of the room, followed by his wife. He was wearing an old pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, good clothes for working around the house.

"I'm going to find some breakfast first. Sure you don't want anything?" asked Tomo. She had changed into a ratty old pair of capris and an old t-shirt of Keitaro's that hung loosely on her frame.

"Yeah, the flight sorta killed my appetite." said Keitaro.

"Okay, I'll find you after I'm done eating and help out."

The two parted ways, with Tomo heading towards the kitchen and Keitaro towards the stairs that would take him up to Narusegawa's room, stopping along the way to grab some tools and a tape measure.

* * *

_The lair of the legendary Narusaurus..._

Upon reaching Naru's door, he knocked. No response. _'Hmm. Nobody home.'_

Against his better judgment, he quietly slid the door open and stepped in to find an empty room. Keitaro walked over the hole, slid Liddo-kun to the side, and went to work.

_'Ugh. Rotted wood, spongy joist, splintered edges...what a mess. This room is a deathtrap.'_ Keitaro grabbed his chisel and pry-bar and went to work removing the fragments of boards around the hole.

_'I wonder why this spot is so bad? Maybe there was a water leak here or something. The rest of the floorboards and joists look okay...but I'm going to have to sister this one...'_ As he finished prying up the last board, leaving squared edges where the good boards were, he set his tools to one side and went to fetch some lumber.

On the way down the hall, Keitaro absently bumped into Shinobu, who was laden with a large laundry basket.

"Wah!" Shinobu's behind hit the ground, giving Keitaro a better view than he really needed. Her face immediately began to burn.

"Oh, Shinobu-chan! I'm sorry!" Keitaro was embarrassed as he helped Shinobu to her feet and tried to help her gather the scattered garments.

"I-i-it's okay! I don't need any help!" stuttered Shinobu as she hefted the basket up again and scampered away, her face beet red.

_'Why is she acting so weird?'_ As he stood there, he noticed something on the floor. A small pair of panties.

_'Cherries?'_ thought Keitaro as he absent-mindedly picked them up. _'Wait, these are Shinobu's! Agh!'_ Keitaro dropped them as though he'd been burned. _'But, I can't just leave them here. I'll just drop them off by her room later.'_ Keitaro gingerly picked them up and pocketed them, before leaving to go get his building supplies.

He returned a short while later with new tongued floorboards and a length of "2 x 6" joist he could bolt to the old one. After first stopping at his own room to fix the joist, he took the rest of the boards up to Naru's room to give her a new floor.

As he swung into the room, trying not to catch the boards on anything, he accidentally swiped a bunch of her books off of a shelf.

"Ooops!" _'Eh, I'll clean those up later.'_

While he hummed and worked, Keitaro was suddenly struck with a disturbing thought. _'I don't imagine that Liddo over there does a lot to prevent sound from traveling...I wonder if Naru heard me and Tomo...'_ Keitaro sweatdropped a bit. At least Naru hadn't said anything.

Soon, Keitaro had patched the hole nicely. _'I'm going to have to sand and stain those to match, but that'll do for now.'_

As he was gathering up his tools and wood scraps, Keitaro happened to notice something sitting on the pile of books he'd knocked over. _'Diary?'_

Keitaro knew he shouldn't read it. That Naru, who had been mysteriously absent, would suddenly appear and kick crap out of him, as he would deserve for reading her private book.

_'Eh, what the hell?' _thought Keitaro as he grabbed the book and flipped it open to a page that was dated shortly after his and Tomo's arrival at Hinata House.

_A week ago we got a new dorm manager, Granny Hina's grandson. The guy is a complete and utter disaster, nothing but a clumsy idiot. And his wife is even worse than he is. A hyperactive nut with a loud mouth and a breast obsession. She already grabbed mine, I'm sure the other girls will suffer the same fate eventually. Motoko thinks they're both perverts, so I guess it's lucky they found each other to practice their perversions on._

_Still, he seems to be decent at running this place, and he's trying for Tokyo U just like me. He's failed twice but apparently he is quite close to success this time. His grades at cram school (MY CRAM SCHOOL) seem to bear this out. _

_Apparently he's going because he promised a girl he'd meet her there. But, it sounds like he's already forgotten the promise and is just going there for the hell of it now, not even trying to find her. It really pissed me off that he'd just blow off a promise to a girl like that. I made that promise to Seta in high school, plus 15 years ago I..._

Keitaro didn't really care for the things Naru had to say about him or his wife, but that last part before the page ended got him thinking. _ '15 years ago? That's about when I made my promise. I wonder...'_

True to Keitaro's earlier fears, Naru chose that moment to walk in the door.

"What are you doing?" Keitaro quickly shoved the book behind his back.

"N-n-nothing!"

"Reading my diary? How could you?!" Naru's voice was picking up volume.

"I didn't mean to! It just fell, and..."

"You know, you really pissed me off when you first got here, but I was just starting to think you might not be so bad. And then you go and do something like this! Thanks for showing your true colors!" Naru was starting to shake.

"I'm sorry, I just..."

"Just GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" shrieked Naru before slugging him through the open door, sending him to smash against the opposite wall of the hallway. As he landed in a heap, he looked up just in time to see Naru slam her door shut.

"Thanks for fixing my floor, jerk!"

_'Urgh...big mistake.'_ thought Keitaro as he hauled himself to his feet. _'I guess I'll go fix Motoko's window next.'

* * *

  
_

_The shrine of the God's Cry warrior..._

_'This cold draft is not beneficial to my meditations.'_ thought Motoko as she sat on her floor, eyes closed.

_'Of course, a true master wouldn't even feel the cold in such a meditative state. Truly, I have much to learn.'_

***Knock! Knock! Knock!* **"Motoko-chan!? Are you in there? It's Keitaro, I'm here to fix the window!"

_'And nobody could meditate properly with that idiot around.'_

Motoko silently glided over to her door and opened it, revealing her somewhat ruffled-looking dorm manager.

"Enter."

Keitaro thanked her and went over to the window. "Brrr! You're right, this is bad." Keitaro took a closer look _'The sliders are splitting and aren't holding the window tight. I can fix this.'_

"Looks like you need some new wood, Motoko. I'll be back shortly." Motoko just nodded.

After Keitaro left, Motoko looked around her room. _'A man has never been in here before Urashima.'_ she blushed a little at that.

True to his word, Keitaro returned in short order. Only this time, he had company.

"Heya, Kendo-girl!" Tomo greeted in her usual energetic manner.

"Tomo-san."

"Jeez, it _is_ cold in here! Your building is a dump, Keitaro!" joked Tomo.

"Well, I'm working on it." Keitaro had long since grown immune to Tomo's jabs.

As Keitaro and Tomo got to work (with Motoko providing silent supervision), it quickly became apparent that having two klutzes in such close quarters just wasn't going to work.

"Tomo, could you hand me the hammer?"

"Yep! Here you- oops!" Tomo dropped it on Keitaro's foot.

"Ah!" Keitaro hopped around a bit.

"Kei-Kei! Are you alright?"

"I'll live."

And then, a few minutes later.

"Okay, now we need to do to the top slider. Where did I leave those nails?" Keitaro hefted the second board into his shoulder and looked for the tin of fasteners. "Oh! There they are." Keitaro turned around and smacked Tomo in the back of the head with the board.

"OW!"

"Oh gosh! Tomo-chan! Are you okay?" Keitaro dropped the board and ran over to his wife."

"It's okay, I'm alright. Guess we're even now, eh?" Both of them chuckled.

Meanwhile, Motoko sweatdropped. _'Those two are a walking disaster.'_

Upon completion of the project, Motoko had to admit, the new window sliders looked like they'd always been there. The window opened and closed smoothly, and there wasn't a draft to be felt.

"Thank you very much, Urashimas." Motoko bowed politely.

"No problem, Motoko!" Keitaro took a glance at his note pad. "Well, all the hard jobs are done. Now all I have to do is fix Kitsune's lights and sweep by the front door."

"Hey Kei-Kei, why don't you just go take care of Kitsune's lights and I'll pick up here and go sweep the front." Tomo offered helpfully.

"Are you sure? Thanks, Tomo-chan!" Keitaro gave his wife a peck and ambled out of the room, not bothering to question Tomo's unusual helpfulness. Motoko blushed a bit.

Tomo began picking up a few loose nails, wood scraps, and Keitaro's saw and hammer, before she started to speak. "So Motoko, how's life treating you?"

"My training seems to be going well, and I have no complaints otherwise." stated Motoko in her usual formal manner. She probably did have complaints, but most of them were centered around the woman in front of her, so she didn't mention it.

"Are you always so proper like this?"

"Yes."

"You've got a cool room!" Tomo went off on another tangent, eyes drawn to the swords and an old samurai suit. "How old is that stuff?"

"These items have been part of the God's Cry school and my family for several centuries."

"Uh-huh. So, you're a good lookin' girl. Got a boyfriend, Motoko?"

Motoko was finding Tomo's ADD-like refusal to stay on one topic rather tiresome. "No, I have no use for a boyfriend. Or men in general."

"Oh? Do you like girls?"

"NO! I merely feel that men are weak, lecherous creatures who have no place in my life." answered a blushing Motoko.

"Why?"

"Those are simply my feelings. My sister married a man and I do not approve. She has given up the righteous, virtuous path of an honorable warrior for one of romance and being a subservient wife."

"Subservient, huh? Are you sure she is? I'm certainly not subservient to Keitaro."

"But you are doing his chores for him."

"Because I want to, not because he wanted me to. He helps me out when I need it too, ya know."

"I see. But does he not expect for you to cook for him and keep your quarters clean and organized?"

"Pfft. I can't even cook rice without setting it on fire." Motoko sweatdropped. "And Keitaro is the neatnik, not me."

Motoko was silent.

"C'mon Motoko, it's the 21st century! I'm not some house-bound woman in an apron! I'm going to school, I'm gonna be a cop and bust perps and stuff all day! It's not like Keitaro wants me to stay at home...he supports my dreams more than anyone, even my own family!" Tomo was picking up steam, but was interrupted by a knock.

"A-ano, Motoko-san? Tomo-san? Would you like a snack?" both older girls recognized the small voice and it's small owner.

"Come in, Shinobu-chan." said Motoko. Shinobu entered carrying a tray with small plates of rice balls and cups of steaming tea.

"H-here!" Shinobu set down two plates and two cups before making a quick exit.

"Wait, Shinobu!" called Tomo, but the small girl was already gone. "Jeez, I wanted to ask her if she'd help me learn to cook. Talk about a girl who actually_ does_ have 'housewife' written all over her."

"So, you do wish to cook for your husband?" asked Motoko with a raised eyebrow.

"Because I want to, not because he expects it. Besides, I can't let Kei-Kei be a better cook than me." reminded Tomo. "But, enough of that. Haven't you noticed that Shinobu is acting weird this week?"

"She seems to lack her usual cheer and has been unwilling to speak to me." agreed Motoko.

"I'll try to talk to her later."

"Her riceballs are excellent." noted Motoko as she chewed.

"Mm. Yeah. Hey, Motoko, do you ever wear anything besides your kendo clothes?"

"I also wear the uniform required by my high school."

"But do you have any normal clothes?"

"My clothes are perfectly normal." Motoko sounded irritated.

"Yeah, for a 15th century shrine maiden! Haven't you got any pants or dresses or anything?"

"No."

"That's a shame. You've got such long legs, and a great body. I bet you'd look great in a skirt like Naru wears." mused Tomo. "I wonder if anything I have would fit you."

"There is no need for that."

"At least wear a normal sports bra instead of those bindings." Tomo started reaching for Motoko's chest.

"Tomo-san, please stop."

"Man, you've really got these things mashed down tight."

"Tomo-san." Motoko's voice carried a note of warning.

Tomo's hand made contact. "Whoa! Impressive!"

Motoko's sword was carefully placed out-of-reach on a rack on the other side of the room, so Motoko did the next best thing.

***UPPERCUT!***

Tomo flew through the open door and landed in a heap in the hallway.

"Nice....uppercut..." groaned a twitching Tomo.

"Please refrain from touching me in that manner." said Motoko before closing the door.

_'Man. She hits like Yomi.'_ thought Tomo as she dragged herself off the floor and began making her way towards the building's main entranceway.

* * *

_The Gray Foxes den...._

"Why hello there, Keitaro. Are ya here to fix my lights?"

"Yes, Kitsune-san."

"Well, come on in then. Can I buy ya a drink?"

"No thanks." Keitaro sweatdropped as he realized just how many liquor bottles Kitsune had lined up on the shelves in her room.

"It's that one over there." Kitsune pointed to a light.

Keitaro climbed a chair and threaded in a replacement bulb. Nothing happened. _'Hmm...I wonder what the problem is...'_

"Not workin', Kei?" asked Kitsune.

"Nope, something else must be wrong." Keitaro wasn't sure he liked the foxy girl using Tomo's pet name for him.

Keitaro used a screwdriver to remove the cover surrounding the light fixture and found that one of the wire nuts had fallen off, leaving the fixture without power. _'Jeez. I sure hope I don't get zapped...I really **should** be shutting the power off before I do this...'_ Keitaro put the wires back together with the fallen wire nut and the light worked again.

"You fixed it, Kei! You're a regular 'ol handyman!" It was becoming apparent that the Foxes alcohol consumption was catching up with her.

Before Keitaro could respond, there was a knock at the door. "Kitsune-san, would you like a snack?" Shinobu was still passing out her treats.

"I could do with some grub." agreed Kitsune. "Come on in."

Shinobu walked in and realized Keitaro was there as well. "Oh! Keitaro-san! I-I-I didn't realize you were here! Would you like some as well?" Shinobu was still handing out riceballs and tea to the dorm residents.

"Sure, Shinobu-chan!" smiled Keitaro. Shinobu blushed and quickly set down two servings of each, before quickly scampering out, barely giving Keitaro and Kitsune a chance to say 'thank you'.

"Is it just me, or is she acting strangely?" asked Keitaro.

"Now that y'all mention it, that little thing has been even quieter than normal." agreed Kitsune. "I wonder what's goin' on with her."

"Maybe I'll get Tomo to talk to her."

"Speaking of, I notice you and that little wife of yours are pretty cozy...y'all must really like each other." said a sly Kitsune as she sidled up and put an arm around Keitaro. "Seems like y'all have a lot of fun together, hmm?" Her face was awfully close.

"Uh, heh! Well, we are married, and....uh..." Keitaro was beet red. _'Not good. Not good at all! Need to get away from the nice alcoholic.' _Keitaro was starting to feel a bit panicky.

Luckily, and unluckily for Keitaro, Tomo chose that moment to walk in without knocking.

"Yo, Kei-Kei! You in here....?" Tomo trailed off as she saw the gray fox draped over her panicked looking husband. "What the heck?" Tomo glared at Kitsune.

"Tomo-chan! I just finished fixing Kitsune's lights." Keitaro was clearly thankful for the distraction.

Tomo had only come up to ask if Keitaro had seen Shinobu, but now she had other plans.

"Well, if you're all done in here, come on! You've got to help me find Shinobu and then you need to clean yourself up. You're full of sawdust!" Tomo grabbed her husband's arm rather roughly and dragged him away, shooting an extremely acidic glance back at Kitsune as she did so.

Kitsune just stood there. _'Oh my, that girl gets mad as a hornet's nest when someone touches her man. Note to self, Mr. Manager is off-limits. Time for another drink.'

* * *

  
_

After throwing Keitaro into the hot spring with a lot more force than really was necessary, not even bothering to let him take his clothes off, Tomo went off to find Shinobu. She found the little cook in the kitchen, as would be expected, and soon had the poor girl cornered.

"Hey, Shinobu!"

"H-hi, Tomo-san."

"What'cha up to?"

"I'm just cleaning up. And I'll have to start making supper in an hour or two."

"Gotcha." Tomo was getting to the point of her visit to Shinobu. "Speaking of cooking, I was wondering if you could maybe teach me to cook. Just a day or two a week."

"I guess I could."

"Yay! Thanks, Shinobu! I can't even cook fried rice without starting a fire!" Shinobu looked slightly alarmed at this, wondering what she had just gotten herself into.

"I-I'm sure you'll get better. E-excuse me!" Shinobu hung up her rag and was making to dash out of the kitchen as she had been doing all day, when Tomo grabbed her arm and wouldn't let go.

"Shinobu, is something wrong? You've been acting a bit weird."

"Ah, no, nothings wrong!" Shinobu wouldn't look at Tomo as she tried to pull away.

"You aren't uncomfortable with Keitaro being around or something, are you?"

"N-no, nothing like that. I like Keitaro." Shinobu then realized what she said and 'MEEP!'-ed loudly before turning bright red. "I mean, I mean, as the manager! Aauuu!!"

Tomo simply chuckled. "Don't worry. I know what you meant." She released her grip. "If somethings eating you, just talk to one of us, okay?" Tomo normally wasn't one to show a _lot_ of concern for other people, but if Keitaro was worried about her, she'd try to help the girl as well.

"Y-yes." With that, Shinobu quickly left the kitchen.

A second later, Tomo did the same, heading towards the hot springs. She encountered her drenched husband as he was making towards the changing room to get out of his soaked clothes.

"Was that really necessary, Tomo?" Keitaro was understandably annoyed. Tomo ignored it.

"I just talked to Shinobu. You're right, she's really acting strange."

"Yeah. What do you think we should do?" sighed Keitaro.

"No idea. I don't even know what the problem is, she wouldn't talk to me at all." Concern had actually crept into Tomo's normally exuberant voice.

"I've got an idea. Haruka probably knows the girls better than anyone. Let's go down to her teahouse after I change and see if she has any ideas. I've been meaning to check her place out anyway." It was true, Keitaro hadn't yet been down to the teahouse.

"Sounds good to me." Tomo paused a moment, before continuing. "Oh, and guess what? Shinobu said she'd teach me to cook! If we ever invite our families here or something, I'll be able to cook for them! ...Maybe."

"Cool." Keitaro smiled.

Keitaro absently stuffed the contents from the pockets of his wet pants into the pockets of the dry pants and a few moments later, the two were walking down the path towards the teahouse.

"Hi Aunt Haruka!" both Tomo and Keitaro said in unison as they entered.

***Whack! Whack!*** The couple were left clutching their heads in agony, following a patented Haruka fan assault times two.

"Just Haruka."

"Yes, Haruka." Keitaro said quickly, purposely cutting Tomo off before she could say anything.

"What brings you down to the shop?" Haruka drawled through her cigarette.

"Shinobu."

"Oh?"

"She's been acting really strange lately. Won't talk to anyone, and she gets all weird and stutters around me." replied Keitaro.

"Yeah, and she runs away from me!" chimed Tomo.

"Hnn. Well, I'm not really sure what to say, but here, this might help." Haruka grabbed a book and handed it to the dorm manager. "Resident profiles."

Tomo crowded in next to Keitaro as he flipped through the book, stopping at Shinobu.

"Hmm. Living here because of family problems. Middle school student. Birthday is...today?!" Keitaro mentally slapped his forehead.

"Hey, that thing has their figure measurements too! Pass it here!" demanded Tomo.

"Tomo-chan!" Keitaro tried to get his wife to focus. "Today is Shinobu's birthday and nobody has said anything to her! It's been totally forgotten."

Tomo stopped trying to grab the book. "Seriously? Poor girl."

"I think we should do something for her." said Keitaro.

"Like what? It's getting late already."

"Let's go into town and try to find a cake and a gift. Then we can gather everyone up and wish her a happy birthday."

"Sounds good."

The two hurried out, and managed to find a suitable birthday cake and a nice gift. Tomo wanted to give her Magnetron Burger Bucks and a calendar of naked men, but Keitaro managed to convince her that some nice new cooking utensils would be better suited to the little cook.

After returning to the inn and stashing the items, the two rushed off in different directions to round up the residents and tell them the plan.

Keitaro knocked on Naru's door. "Hey, Narusegawa?! Can I talk to you for a second?"

The door flew open. "What do you want, Idiot? Here to read the next entry?" Naru was still a bit steamed about the diary.

"No, it's about Shinobu."

"Shinobu?" Naru's face immediately softened. "What is it?"

"Today's her birthday and I think we all forgot." Naru looked horrified.

"Oh no!"

"Yeah. Tomo and I already got her a cake and a gift. We just need to get everyone else together to try and get some decorations up and wish her a happy birthday." Keitaro smiled, and so did Naru.

"Yes! Come on, let's get Kitsune." At that, the two walked towards the Gray Foxes den.

Tomo was having a similar conversation with Motoko.

"Yo! Kendo-babe! You in there?" Tomo knocked rapidly on the door as she spoke.

The door slid open smoothly. "Are there other parts of my body you wish to grope, Tomo-san?"

Tomo had a response, but thought better of it. "No, I'm here because of Shinobu."

"What is wrong with Shinobu?" Motoko suddenly looked a lot less hostile and a lot more caring.

"Today's her birthday and nobody remembered. My husband and I already got her a gift and a cake, but we need everyone else to come downstairs."

"That explains her recent behavior." mused Motoko. "Let's collect Su."

"All right! Let's go, Kendo-girl!" Tomo began to bound off in the direction of Su's room.

"I have a name. It is Aoyama Motoko." grumbled Motoko as she gracefully followed.

* * *

_'Now, where could that girl be?' _thought Keitaro as he hunted around for Hinata House's resident mini-homemaker. She wasn't in her room, or the kitchen, or the laundry area. Keitaro was just about to give up the hunt and go back to find help when it hit him.

_'The roof! Of course!'_ Keitaro dashed off towards the stairs.

Sure enough, Shinobu was standing on the roof, looking out over the city as she leaned on the rail. She didn't look happy.

"Aha! There you are." Shinobu turned, startled.

"K-Keitaro-san!"

"Don't you think it's a bit cold to just be standing around outside, Shinobu?" asked Keitaro with a smile.

"Y-y-yes!" Shinobu made to run for it, but Keitaro grabbed her arm.

"Wait! Shinobu! Stop!"

Shinobu tugged lamely but didn't say anything.

"Happy Birthday Shinobu-chan!"

Shinobu gasped.

"Today is your 13th birthday, isn't it?"

"Y-yes."

"Congratulations! Come on, let's go inside and get out of the cold."

"Okay."

As soon as the pair entered the main room of the Inn, party favors went off and Shinobu noticed the large, slightly crude banner that had been strung up.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHINOBU-CHAN!" chorused all of the residents.

Shinobu froze. Everyone, even Haruka, was waiting for her.

"Surprised?" asked Naru.

"Yays! Now Shinomu is the same age as me!" sang Su as she pranced around the room.

"T-thanks, everyone!" Shinobu's shock was wearing off and now she was smiling broadly.

"Thank the Urashimas, they arranged all of this." said Motoko. "It's a good thing that they knew it was your birthday."

"T-thanks!" Shinobu turned to Keitaro and Tomo.

"Keitaro, the present, the present!" Tomo jabbed her husband in the ribs.

"Right! Here you go, Shinobu-chan." Keitaro pulled an elongated box out of his back pocket, along with...

"Keitaro? What's that?" asked Tomo.

"My panties! AAAAUUUU!!" Shinobu toppled over in a faint.

"DON'T MAKE A GIRL CRY ON HER BIRTHDAY!" yelled Naru, at the same time as...

"Keitaro! What the heck?" even Tomo looked weirded out.

"I can explain! I just found them and was going to..."

"PERVERT!"

"I'LL SLICE YOU UP!"

"I WAS JUST JOKING WHEN I SAID YOU WERE A LOLICON!"

Keitaro flew out the front door and down the front steps. Two right hooks and a sword-swipe. Nasty.

"Hmph. I'll be having a talk with him later. About _more_ than just the panties." said Tomo as she shot a rather sharp glance back to Kitsune.

As Keitaro bonelessly dragged himself back into the dorm, a now-nervous Kitsune spoke up.

"Alright y'all, we've got cake, soda and SAKE! Let's have us a party!" she punctuated the statement by downing a big gulp of sake.

"Sake? All right! Come on, Keitaro!" Tomo grabbed her still-woozy husband and dragged him over to a table that was covered in bottles, seemingly having already forgotten Keitaro's earlier transgression.

Soon, everyone had a glass of either soda or sake, depending on their age. Cake was cut. Shinobu's surprise birthday party was underway.

* * *

_Not a terribly long while later..._

Keitaro and Tomo were both red faced, rambling, and completely drunk.

"Shey, Kei-Kei, howshabout we goesh up to the room and have shum fun?"

"Shounds good to meee, Tomo-shan!"

"Will you do that thing with yer tongue that I like sho musch?" asked Tomo.

"Depensh. Will you that thing with _your_ tongue that _I_ likes sho musch?"

"Oh shyeah!"

"Then letsh go!"

With that, the drunken couple stood up and went to make their exit...

...and immediately fell flat on their faces, passed out on the rug.

Everybody was red-faced and sweat-dropping in quantity.

_'Idiots.'_ thought Naru.

_'How improper.'_ Motoko's face was so red her nose threatened to bleed. _'I wonder if I could work this into one of my novels...?'_

Kitsune ignored her shocked friends as she looked down at the now-sleeping couple.

"My, my, my. Those two can't hold their liquor at all!"

* * *

Author's note two:

And, so ends chapter 3. If you read all 3 chapters and don't bother to leave a review to tell me what you thought of it, may you be hit by a flying turd!

You've probably noticed that I've just been farting around with the story, not really going anywhere with it. I guess I'm just trying to set a tone for the story and get everyone established. I still think I need to give Su a little more face time. The catalyst for this story's actual plot will occur in chapter 4, I promise. Yes, this story will have something like a plot. It'll still be weaving in and out of cannon story events, because I see no need to totally re-invent the wheel here, but some definite differences will be there and make themselves known soon. It may be a shocker for a Love Hina story, but I hear that Todai will be involved in some way.

These chapters are getting too damn long. I need to take that into account when I outline them, and start breaking them up into smaller ones. Oh well.

Awww, Shinobu has a crush on a married man. That little homewrecker! I think Kitsune's been scared straight though. I don't think Tomo has much to worry about, though.

Drunk!Tomo makes me laugh. She wanted to drink in the course of the AzuDai storyline, so I imagine that an of-age Tomo will be happy to put a few back now and then, just like her drunkard teacher, Miss Yukari. I know I'm playing up Tomo's boob obsession too, but that's just for my own amusement. I promise I'll pull back on that a bit in future chapters.

I like to randomly insert anime characters into my stories. It's a dumb habit. You probably recognized them.

Thanks again for reading. Do what you feel and keep both feet on the wheel.


	4. What Else Can I Do?

Hey Chapter 4. Sorry about the wait, but updates are going to be a bit sporadic from here on out. I guess saying that the (sort of) plot would be unveiled (more or less) in chapter 4, and then not updating in ages was a total dick move. Sorry.

Whoa. Lots of reviews, favs, etc. since the last time I checked this thing. I didn't think my story would be popular at all. Cool.

I don't own anything I mention.

Don't forget to leave a review! They tell me how I'm doing after all.

I'd also like to say BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS READ, REVIEWED, WATCHED, FAVED, OR OTHERWISE INTERACTED WITH MY STORY! It's for you, after all.

* * *

_Flashback to the last mock test._

_Keitaro looked at his exam score and Jah-Jah-Moh cram class ranking before quietly getting the attention of the girl sitting in the desk next to his own. _

"_Hey, Narusegawa."_

"_What do you want, Urashima?"_

"_How did you do on the mock exam?"_

"_99.3 percent, ranked first in class." Naru allowed a little pride to seep into her voice as she peered at Keitaro through her massive glasses. _

"_Really? That's amazing!" Keitaro was honestly impressed. He hoped that Narusegawa would go easy on him if he failed a third time. She was a shoe-in to Tokyo U for sure. _

_But, he wasn't too concerned. His grades had definitely gone up under Naru's tutelage. And, the enthusiastic 'rewards' Tomo gave him every time he brought home an improved exam grade certainly provided ample motivation as well._

_Keitaro did suspect, however, that Tomo enjoyed giving him those rewards as much as he enjoyed receiving them. _

_'Where did she get that naughty French maid outfit anyway?'_

_As Keitaro drifted off into a dreamland made mostly of his wife's thighs and rear end, Naru snapped him out of it. _

"_Hey? Hey! Urashima!" Naru dealt Keitaro a light-ish slap to the back of the head. _

"_Huh?"_

"_I asked, how was your score?" Naru smirked inwardly. Keitaro had a tendency to drift off at inappropriate times. It was easily his biggest obstacle to actually passing the exams and getting into Tokyo U. Naru had figured that out quickly and tended to be harsh in bringing him back to reality. _

"_Oh! Heh, let's see here...scored 95.8 percent, ranked 4th in class." _

"_Nice work, Urashima!" Naru was genuinely happy with her study partner's progress. "You'll never knock me out of first place, but you're doing really well!" The mirth in her eyes was apparent even though the massive glasses._

"_Thanks Narusegawa. Your teaching really helped."

* * *

_

_Flashback to a more recent study session. _

_The Tokyo U entrance exam had just been completed earlier in the week by both Keitaro and Narusegawa. _

_Keitaro studied the flash cards he and Narusegawa used to study English. _

"_Free-dom?"_

"_Correct. Now, what does it mean?"_

_Keitaro thought for a moment. "The idea of being free. The lack of coercion or constraint in choice or action."_

"_Correct again, Urashima!" Naru smiled softly. This was helping her as much as it was helping him. "Okay, now do the next one."_

"_Fol-ev-urr?"_

"_That's not right, Urashima. It's 'for-ev-er.' Now try again."_

"_For-ev-er?"_

"_Right. Now, what does that one mean?"_

"_Um..." Keitaro tapped his chin for a bit. "For an unlimited time?"_

"_Close enough."_

"_I think we're going through these backwards, Narusegawa. 'O' is supposed to go before 'R' in the English alphabet, isn't it?"_

"_Good that you noticed. I was wondering when you would."_

"_Heh. Kami, this language is tough."_

"_Yeah, but it's the world language of business, politics, and education, so we need to learn it."_

_They went over a few more definitions before Naru decided to take a break for a drink and a rice ball from the plate that Shinobu had left them._

"_Hey, Narusegawa."_

"_Yes?"_

"_How do you think you did on the Todai exam?" Keitaro asked. The subject had been taboo, but Keitaro couldn't take it anymore. He needed to talk about the exam. _

_Naru stiffened a bit, then relaxed. "I think I did pretty well, actually. I was relaxed and I think I knew most of the answers. How about you?"_

_Keitaro sighed. "I don't know."_

"_What?" Naru's eyebrow went up. "You didn't zone out like an idiot again, did you?"_

_Internally, Keitaro panicked. That's exactly what he'd done. _

_He'd been sitting in his chair, marking answers when he started thinking about how great it would be to be a Todai graduate. He envisioned himself and Tomo living in a comfortable house, with their family. Maybe a boy and a girl. He pictured weekend family trips to various points of interest around Japan, in a nice car, or maybe even a fancy SUV. He pictured a nice big bedroom with a big, comfortable western-style bed where he and Tomo could..._

_The lewd thoughts had snapped Keitaro out of it and it was then that he'd realized that he had 10 minutes left to finish 2 pages of the test. In a panic, he'd quickly marked every answer he thought he knew, and then just went and randomly filled in the rest. _

_After that, Keitaro had felt like just running away and hiding, but he knew he couldn't do something like that. Not with Tomo and his Hinata House waiting for him. _

_Narusegawa had been trying to break him of the habit, mostly with slaps to the back of the head, but she wasn't able to do that at the actual exam. And now she was asking why he wasn't sure about his result. _

"_No! No! No no no." Keitaro waved his arms around like an idiot. "I just...just...kind of froze up. Test jitters or something. I don't think I made as good of use of the time as I could've." he hoped Naru wouldn't see through his lie. _

_Naru looked like she didn't buy it for a second, then she just raised her hand and..._

"_Baka!" Slap. Keitaro flew forward over the table and landed on the other side of his room. Naru had a mean slap. He'd hate to catch a punch from her. "I told you to just breathe and relax!" she barked. _

"_I know, I know! I'm sorry. I still think I got most of the answers though."_

_Naru was placated momentarily. "Did you follow my OTHER advice?"_

"_Go with my first instinct and don't second-guess myself?"_

"_Right."_

"_Of course."_

"_Well, that's good then. Now I guess all we can do is wait for the results to be posted."_

_Keitaro agreed and the two went back to English vocabulary.

* * *

_

_Back to the present._

"Could you repeat that?" Keitaro asked as he held the phone receiver to his ear.

Haitani's excited voice once again assaulted Keitaro's ear. _"I got into my first choice school! Isn't it awesome?! No more stupid cram school, no more mock exams...I'm free! Sexy college girls, here I come..."_

Keitaro managed a sickly smile. "Congratulations, Haitani. How about Shirai?"

Shirai's voice echoed from the background. Apparently he was standing close to Haitani. "_I haven't gone to check yet, but I already know I failed." _Shirai sounded morose.

"Well, good luck Shirai, and congratulations again, Haitani. I've got to go eat breakfast and then get my own exam results, so I 'll catch you guys later."

"_Bye!"_

"_Keitaro! Fail too so I won't be the only ronin..."_ was the last thing Keitaro heard before hanging up.

Keitaro replaced the phone and went down to the kitchen to eat breakfast. Tomo and the rest were already there.

"Who was that, Kei-Kei?" asked Tomo.

"Just Haitani and Shirai. Haitani got into the college he wanted."

"Cool!"

"It's the same college you go to."

"Ugh. Not so cool." Tomo slumped into her chair.

Shinobu began putting the food on the table. "I-I-I hope that both of you m-make it into Todai." she squeaked as she served the rice.

"Thanks Shinobu-chan."

After eating, everyone began getting up to go about their business.

Except Naru and Keitaro.

"Come on you two, what's the hold up?" scolded Tomo as she tried to get her husband up so they could all go check the Todai entrance boards.

"Just one more cup of tea." said Keitaro.

"A little more rice." murmured Naru.

Keitaro had been sitting in between Naru and Tomo, which made it easy for Tomo to reach both of them, as she grabbed their arms and tried to yank them out of their chairs.

"HUUURGH! COME ON!" grunted Tomo as she tried to unseat the two students. Unfortunately, while Tomo had a lot of energy, her physical strength left something to be desired, and she impotently tugged at her husband and Naru with little to show for it. Some things hadn't changed much since high school.

"Kendo-babe, help me!" yelped Tomo as she continued to pull. "They're not fooling me! They're just too nervous to get their butts up and go check their results!"

"I have a name, Tomo-san. It is Motoko." muttered Motoko for the umpteenth time. She really didn't care for being called 'Kendo-babe', even if it was another girl.

"Just help me get their big butts out of these chairs." grunted Tomo as she continued to yank.

"Step aside." said Motoko with a hint of a smile.

Tomo did as she was told. Motoko walked over to the table, grabbed Naru and Keitaro, and effortlessly lifted them out of their chairs by their arms, with a small smirk on her face.

"Agh!" screeched Keitaro.

"Wah!" agreed Naru.

As Motoko began to haul the squirming Todai aspirants towards the door (while still holding them above the ground, Tomo spoke up again.

"Jeez Chun-Li, take it easy!"

"Will you ever call me by my name?" asked a slightly irritated Motoko.

Tomo just stared blankly. Motoko sighed.

As they got to the door, Motoko tossed Naru and Keitaro down and began to put her shoes on.

_'Hmmph. Motoko never would've done something like that before Tomo got here. That girl is a bad influence.'_ grumbled Naru to herself as she put her shoes on.

Tomo was grabbing Motoko's biceps and squeezing them. It irritated Motoko, but since Tomo usually went for the breasts instead, she decided not to get angry about it.

"Man, feel these guns!"

Motoko pulled her arm away. "I have a strong body because I put lots of effort into my training. If you would do more than sit in front of the TV, I'm sure you would have a strong body as well."

Tomo just snorted. "Yeah yeah, you're tall, strong, sexy, and you've got jugs like watermelons, everything I'm not. Just keep rubbing it in." she said as she stuck her tongue out at Motoko.

Motoko blushed a little, but said nothing otherwise. She wasn't used to compliments on her physical stature.

"Is everyone ready?" asked Keitaro as he grabbed his bag and made to exit.

"Yeah, let's go!" Tomo bounced out the door, ahead of everyone else.

"I'm set." agreed Naru.

"Alright. Goodbye, Motoko." Keitaro and Naru followed Tomo, who was going to be accompanying her husband to the entrance boards, before making her own way to school.

"I bid you all good day, and good luck." said Motoko.

At that, the college student and two aspirants left Hinata House and made their way towards the trains that would take them to Tokyo.

* * *

Shirai sighed a bit as he trudged towards the square where several Tokyo colleges were posting their exam results. He was hoping to either join Haitani at Tokyo Metro, or get into the Tokyo Technology Institute as a backup. But, his grades hadn't really improved.

_'Oh well, another year as a ronin. I can deal with that. Maybe I can get a job somewhere...'_

He huffed again and resumed his walk as he made his way towards the boards that were looming into view.

With every step, the rock in his stomach seemed to get heavier.

* * *

Back in Hinata City, Motoko moved towards her high school with her usual purposeful strides. She was known at the school as a girl who abhorred both nonsense, and boys, meaning she sometimes had trouble making friends. She did seem to have a few devoted fans though, something about her stoic, strong nature seemed to draw certain people.

As she moved towards the school, she stopped suddenly. An unpleasant feeling had suddenly overtaken her.

_'I sense an evil presence here.'_

Motoko looked around, but saw nothing. A few classmates trudging towards the school, a truck parked on the street, an old lady going in the opposite direction. Nothing seemed out of place or unusual.

But Motoko could still feel the presence.

She decided to simply shake it off and continue to school. Maybe she was just imagining things.

As she walked away, a large black tomcat with expressive eyes and a big mouth with even bigger teeth smiled at her retreating figure from his vantage point behind a garbage can, before pouncing off in the other direction.

Motoko shuddered a bit as more evil energy seemed to overtake her from behind.

* * *

Back on the train, Tomo was getting restless.

"Hmmm...." she murmured as she looked around.

"What are you thinking, Tomo?" asked her husband.

"I was just thinking. I've never been groped on a train. Is that something that only happens in manga and anime?"

Keitaro sweatdropped. "Uh, I really don't know, Tomo-chan."

"How about you, Naru. Ever been felt up on a train?" A few of the other train passengers looked like they wanted to get away from Tomo.

"Um...no."

"Hmm. Maybe I should just try groping someone." said Tomo as she glanced around, before settling her eyes on her husband and the other Hinata House resident.

By now, everyone else had moved away from Tomo. A few people had placed briefcases and bookbags to protect sensitive areas.

As Tomo began to move towards the two, they both took a step back.

"Tomo-chan, please don't..." begged Keitaro.

Naru, on the other hand, was not in the mood. "You do that, and I'm going to punch you so hard that even your husband will feel it." she gritted out as she held up a fist that was positively quaking with restrained force and anger.

Tomo gulped. "Uh...maybe I'll just stand here then. With my hands in my pockets. Yeah."

"Smart girl." replied Naru.

Keitaro just sweatdropped.

* * *

Shirai walked with his hands in his pockets, head down.

His fears had come to pass. He was a second-year ronin, he'd failed to get into either school. He fought to keep the tears back.

_'Hey, those are the Todai boards over there. Maybe I'll go past, see if Keitaro is there.'_

The three Hinata House residents arrived at the number boards. Keitaro pulled out his number card, and found he had to walk all the way to the far left side of them. He made his way over, Tomo following.

Naru on the other hand, had to move a bit to the right, and she did.

Hopeful eyes looked through gigantic glasses as she peered over other hopefuls' heads to see the boards. She located the correct group of numbers and...

...she didn't see hers.

This couldn't be right.

She searched again.

Her number wasn't there.

She drew a shuddering breath.

_'I'm not going to cry.' _

So, that was it then. All of that studying, all of those top scores and rankings, and she'd failed to achieve her goal.

Naru stood there dumbly for a moment, before robotically moving herself in the direction Tomo and Keitaro had gone in.

As she trudged over, she heard a great whooping shout and looked up to see Tomo jumping on her husband, yelling and cheering.

"You made it! You made it! Kei-Kei, you finally made it!" shrieked Tomo as she continued to jump all over Keitaro. For his part, Keitaro just stood there in stunned silence.

"You're a real Todai student! Your parents are going to be so proud! I'm so proud! KEITARO YOU MADE IT!" Tomo's antics were starting to annoy the other hopefuls.

Naru forced herself to smile a little. Forced herself to be happy for the couple. She pulled up short when Keitaro began to speak, however.

Neither Keitaro nor Tomo had noticed Naru's presence behind them.

"Jeez, I can't believe I made it in, especially after that entrance exam."

"What happened?"

"Oh, I totally spaced out like I always do. I started thinking about you and me and our future together, kids, house, jobs, all that stuff. When I came to again I only had ten or so minutes to complete the test so I just filled it randomly as fast as I could."

"Whoa! Talk about lucky!" Then, Tomo registered the rest of what he said. "So, how many kids did we have?" she asked saucily, drawing close.

"Uh...two. A boy and a girl."

"Sounds good to me." Tomo leered at her man.

"Heh-heh. In the future, remember."

Naru heard all of this and was shocked.

_'That idiot didn't even take the exam right and he got in? What the hell!?'_

It was too much for Naru, and she dashed off, completely unnoticed.

Tomo and Keitaro were still distracted.

"I can think of a dirty boy who's going to have to be cleaned up by his French maid tonight." murmured Tomo in Keitaro's ear as she drew circles on his chest with her finger.

"Heh-heh-heh." Keitaro was beet red. "Wait till we get home, Tomo."

"And I'll be you can't wait until we get home." replied Tomo with a cheeky smile.

"Oh-h-h yes..."

"Hey, wait a second. Where's Naru?"

Keitaro almost facefaulted at his wife's sudden shift.

"Um, I don't know?"

Keitaro scanned up and down the Todai number boards. "Where the heck could she have gone?"

"You don't think she...failed...do you?" asked Tomo. It seemed inconceivable.

"God, I hope not. She would've felt terrible if she saw us celebrating like that."

"Well, regardless of how she did, she's a big girl who can take care of herself. I'm sure she'll turn up."

"I hope so." replied Keitaro.

"Well, I need to get to school in an hour. What are you planning to do?" asked Tomo as she checked her watch.

"I don't know. I don't really feel like going back to Hinata. Maybe I'll just hang out around Jah-Jah-Moh and study or something. I'm still a registrant there, after all.

"I'll be done with class in three hours, and I'm not scheduled at Magnetron today. Why don't you meet me at the usual place by Metro and then we can go out to lunch to celebrate. Beef bowls on me."

Tomo knew her man's food weakness.

Keitaro smiled. "I like the sound of that."

Tomo then whispered huskily in Keitaro's ear. "And then we can go..._home."_

Blood spurted from Keitaro's nose.

* * *

Shirai's mood was not improving as he got further away from the entrance boards. As he angrily stalked along, trying to avoid other passers-by while walking with his hands in his pockets and his head down, he decided to deal with his depression in the best way possible.

Food and drink.

It helped that he'd skipped breakfast that morning, having had too many butterflies in his stomach to have kept his usually sizable breakfast down. He didn't maintain his sexy physique through exercise and vegetables, after all.

He'd just picked out what appeared to be a bar and Korean barbecue joint when a huge force hit him from behind and sent him sprawling.

Shirai just groaned as he rolled to a stop. _'Great, just when this freakin' day couldn't get any better...'_ he thought as he pushed himself up to his feet.

As he swung around to see who had hit him, he was surprised to find that it was a somewhat familiar face. It was the glasses-girl with the ponytails who sometimes hung out with Keitaro at his cram school, and she sitting on the ground where she had fallen after hitting him. She appeared to be fighting tears back even as she sat there. Shirai recognized the look on her face, but didn't feel any real sympathy. He was in the same boat after all. And she'd just sent him flying into the sidewalk.

She seemed to recognize him as well.

"You're Keitaro's friend." they both said in unison.

They stared at each other in silence for a moment before Shirai extended a hand to help her up. She took his hand slowly, but did take it.

Another beat.

"Didn't get in?" Shirai was blunt.

"No. I didn't make it."

"Yeah, I know the feeling.

"I'm sorry I hit you."

"Don't worry. It's not like my day was going to improve anyway."

"Have you seen Keitaro and Tomo?"

"No. Did Keitaro get in?"

"Yeah."

Shirai sighed. "Then, I guess I'm now the only ronin from our little group. I don't think you count as a member because the only one you'd ever talk to was Keitaro."

Naru snorted.

"Well, nice meeting you. I'm gonna go over here now and eat and drink until I can barely walk and then go home and sleep for a week. See you later." Shirai pointed to the bar and then made to leave.

"Wait."

"What?"

"Want some company?"

"Whatever." Shirai wasn't feeling all that personable at the moment. So unpersonable that a pretty girl inviting herself to lunch with him didn't even register on his usual radar of desperation.

A short while later found the two failures sitting at a table in the barbecue place. Shirai was sipping a beer and purposefully scarfing down barbecued meat, while Naru was nibbling at some barbecue and putting booze back like a sailor in a dockside pub.

"Hey, easy on the wine. Are you even old enough to drink that?" asked Shirai.

"Oh shaddup!" said Naru as she slammed another one back. "Hey, waiter! Draft beer, now!"

Shirai frowned. Naru looked to be winding herself up.

"I can't believe I failed! I failed and that idiot Urashima didn't! He didn't even do the test properly! I was the one ranked first! I was the one who studied all the time! I got all the best exam scores!" Naru was waving an empty cup around for emphasis. "I bet he's the one who dragged me down."

"If you were always getting better grades than him, how could he have dragged you down?"

Naru glared at Shirai for a moment, before slamming her cup down. "You're right. And that really pisses me off."

Shirai just stared back.

"Why did I fail?" asked Naru.

"I really wouldn't know."

"Why did you fail?"

Shirai grumbled. "Because I'm not that smart, because I hate to study, and because I get distracted easily are the most likely reasons."

"I did nothing but study for two years! I never saw my friends, never had a boyfriend, studied with a private tutor, never joined any clubs or teams, just like some damn antisocial loser! I studied so much I have to wear these hideous glasses to see anything! And where did it get me? I'm sitting in a bar with some fat dork I hardly know, drinking things I shouldn't be drinking, and wallowing in my failure! I should have passed!" Naru's ranting skills were considerable.

"Hey!" Shirai's indignation at the insult from Naru would've been a lot more credible if he didn't say it through a giant mouthful of BBQ beef.

"And worst of all, I haven't managed to keep the promise I made to get into Todai! I may never see the guy!" Naru was finally winding down.

"I think that's the same reason Keitaro wanted to go there. Made a promise to some girl when he was a kid or something. I don't know the details though...I never really paid attention when he told me that stupid story." Shirai wolfed down more BBQ as he spoke.

"Stupid, stupid Keitaro. Stupid Todai. Stupid everything." grumbled Naru.

"Well Narusegawa-san, I'd like to say it's been fun. But it hasn't. So, I'll probably not be seeing you around." Shirai stood up and threw a few bills on the table to cover his food and the tip and made to leave.

"Hey, wait a sec." said Naru slightly drunkenly.

"What?"

"Um...what...what are you planning to do now that you're a ronin again?" asked Naru. She'd never been a ronin before...she had no idea what to do in this situation.

Shirai sighed. "What else can I do? I'll probably re-enroll at Jah-Jah-Moh, try to find a job to pay the bills, and hope I do better at the next exam. I'd like to lower my standards for my school of choice, but I'm not willing to go that far yet."

Naru blinked. "Right. What else can you do?"

"Exactly. Well, bye."

"Bye." Naru called after him. Shirai was already walking out.

Naru went back to her drinking and eating part of the barbecue Then, she took a glance at the money Shirai had left.

_'Hey, did that guy even leave enough to cover his half?!'

* * *

_

Keitaro let out a heaving breath as he slumped down into the booth at the beef-bowl joint. Tomo slid in across from him.

"Gosh. I'm going to be a Todai student. It still hasn't sunk in completely." said Keitaro as he semi-stared into space.

"When are you going to tell your parents?" asked Tomo as she picked up her menu.

"Tomorrow. I don't plan to be too smug about it though. Just a little smug." Tomo smirked.

"Okay, now that you've made it in, what do you plan to study there?"

Keitaro sat and blinked stupidly.

"...you did have a career picked out, right? I mean, I never asked because you were so gung-ho on getting in at Todai...I figured you had a plan."

"Uh...er."

"Ah, well. I'm sure you'll think of something."

"I always thought I'd go for something normal, like law or economics or something."

Tomo made a face. "But that's so dull! You're not going to turn into one of those creepy salarymen who hates his life and spends all his time trying to peep at schoolgirl panties on the trains are you?"

Keitaro stared at his wife for a second, before reaching into his bag and pulling out a book containing the course offerings for the upcoming year at Todai. "Well then, let's see what my options are."

Tomo stood up and moved around the booth to sit next to her husband and read the book as well.

"Hey, they have an archeology department." said Tomo. "You could be like Indiana Jones!"

"Uh..."

The food arrived, and the two settled down to eat their lunch.

"I sure wish I had Naru's phone number." murmured Keitaro as he ate. "I'm kinda worried about the way she just disappeared."

"Yeah I know. I'm sure she's fine though. If anyone messed with her, she'd just punch them so hard they'd land in Russia."

"Heh. Still, we should really put the other residents' cell numbers on our own phones. And they should have our numbers too."

"We can do that later." agreed Tomo.

"Yeah. So, how are things going at Tokyo Metro and Magnetron? I haven't had a chance to talk to you much with all the exams and stuff."

Tomo began updating Keitaro on her own life outside of Hinata House, and the couple made pleasant conversation as they finished up their lunches, and then stood up to make their way back home after Tomo paid for the food.

* * *

Later that evening, the Urashimas made their way back to Hinata House, fully expecting to find Naru there. But, they were in for a surprise as they walked in the door.

"Surprise!" chorused all of the residents of the house, plus Haruka.

"What's going on?" asked Keitaro. There were snacks and drinks arranged on the main room's table, plus a few banners and signs around. Banners and signs that didn't necessarily match.

"Su-chan, turn your sign around!" squeaked Shinobu. Su's sign read 'Better Luck Next Time!'.

"Oooopsies!" Su flipped her sign and it now read 'Congratulations, Todai Students!'

Keitaro and Tomo both sweatdropped.

"So, how did y'all do?" asked an already slightly inebriated Kitsune. But, to be fair, Kitsune was _always _already slightly inebriated.

Before Keitaro could speak, Tomo jumped in excitedly, and began hopping around the room. "KEITARO MADE IT! He's a Todai student!" she punched a fist into the air for emphasis.

"Aaaauuu! Congratulations, Keitaro-sempai!" squealed Shinobu.

"Nice work." winked Kitsune.

"Congratulations are in order, Urashima-san." nodded Motoko.

"Good job, Keitaro." said Haruka through a faint smile and a puff of cigarette smoke.

"Did you bring Su anything to eat?!"

"Thanks everyone." Keitaro beamed.

"Hey y'all, where's Naru?" Kitsune had finally noticed the absence of her friend.

"We thought she'd be here. She vanished at the results posting." said Tomo.

"Oh."

Nobody said it, but everyone suspected what had happened. Especially Kitsune, who knew how her friend would occasionally react to unpleasant situations. She just hoped Naru would come home quickly.

It put a damper on the rest of the evening, and everyone was subdued in their celebration of Keitaro's success.

* * *

It was late at night and everyone had gone to bed, save for Kitsune. She was sitting on the couch in her panties and an old shirt, idly flipping through TV channels and sipping sake.

She wouldn't be able to sleep until Naru got home. A woman who cares deeply about her friends is always hiding underneath that foxy exterior.

Then, there was a click at the door, followed by it sliding open and somebody stepping in. Kitsune looked up to see her oldest friend trudging slowly in.

Naru kicked off her shoes and ambled over to the couch where Kitsune was, and heavily sat down next to her.

Kitsune looked at her friend. "Want to talk about it, hun?"

"I didn't get in." was all Naru said.

Kitsune nodded, but said nothing.

Tears began to form in Naru's eyes. "I told myself I wasn't going to cry again, but every time I think about it I..."

Kitsune just grabbed her friend into a hug. Naru sobbed on Kitsune's shoulder for a few moments, before pulling back and thanking Kitsune.

"So, where have you been all day?"

Naru sighed and told Kitsune all about her day, about running away from the Urashimas, about her lunch with that fat sleazebag idiot Shirai who only paid for a third of their meal (which made Kitsune snicker), and about just wandering around Tokyo for the rest of the day, trying to find her bearings.

"What are you going to do now?" asked Kitsune.

Naru echoed Shirai. "What else can I do? I'll go back to cram school, keep studying, and try again."

Naru couldn't subdue the huge yawn that suddenly overtook her.

"Come on, hun. It's time to get you to bed. You've had a long day." said Kitsune as she gingerly helped her tired friend up and began walking her towards her room.

"Thanks Kitsune" said Naru through another yawn.

And then, through the walls...

_"Mmmm....landlord-san, is your naughty maid going to have to use the feather duster again?"_

_"Tomo-chaaaaaaaaan!"_

Naru and Kitsune stopped, and then looked at each other.

Kitsune looked amused.

Naru did not.

"Perverts."

* * *

_Elsewhere in Tokyo..._

_The big black Chaser sedan sped through the streets of Tokyo, it's four occupants looking the worse for wear, but otherwise alive. They were speeding away from a warehouse that had just been leveled by an explosion. _

"_That was a pretty clever move, Rock. I never would've thought to flood the boiler with cold water to create that explosion. We may not have escaped if not for that." said the blond driver, who had since identified himself as Benny. _

"_It was just like the time that idiot Takino spilled ice cubes into the fryer at work. It just makes a giant mess. So, why did you have to kill all those guys anyway?" Mr. Okajima was terrified, but glad to be alive. "And why do you guys keep calling me Rock?"_

"_It just seems to fit."_

_It had been a wild ride in the weeks since these insane people had dragged him out of his workplace, but they had not only kept him alive, but gradually warmed up to his common-sense intelligence and remarkably slick tongue._

_And, he had to admit, these past weeks were a lot more exciting than greasy French fries and stupid subordinates._

"_They're after the same things we are. And they had the information we needed. Now that they're all dead, we shouldn't have many problems here." murmured the hulking black man from the front passenger seat. He had told Rokuro to just call him Dutch. _

_Before Mr. Okajima could say any more, Benny piped up again. _

"_And the way you managed to distract them all just by talking, amazing. I've never met anyone who could stop Yakuza cold like that with just words."_

"_Uh, heh. I guess when you can placate a bitchy mother and her three screaming brats at Magnetron, talking to Yakuza just doesn't seem as intimidating."_

_Both occupants at the front of the car chuckled. _

"_So...uh...if you don't mind my asking, why are you in Japan?"_

"_A customer has asked us to retrieve some valuable items, and ship them back-channel to his contacts." Dutch replied matter-of-factly. _

"_And, you grabbed me, because?" _

_The Chinese-looking woman, who Mr. Okajima now knew as Revy, next to him suddenly spoke for the first time since entering the car. "I was just hoping nobody would try to plug me with you in front. You made a good shield. Those guys in the Magnetron burger worked for our former enemies back there...we hadn't expected to run into them on a lunch run." she smirked. _

_Mr. Okajima looked like he wanted to vomit in fear._

_But, before he could, the black man spoke up again. "I don't normally do things like this, Rock, but I have a proposition for you."_

"_Um...okay?" _

"_We could use a local guy, someone who knows the area well. Plus, you're an out-of-the-box thinker and you know how to talk to people. Revy back there isn't much of a diplomat." _

_The woman snorted. _

"_I'd like to offer you a position on our crew. The starting pay is 15 percent of our profits, and after we're done here, we take you back to the home base and you continue to work jobs with us."_

_Rock didn't really know what to say. "Um...what am I going to be doing, exactly? I don't think I could kill someone..."_

"_Just do what you did tonight, Rock."_

_Mr. Okajima thought a bit. "And if I don't join?"_

"_Revy?"_

_He looked over at the woman. She was delicately stroking the butt of one of her pistols with one finger. _

_Rock gulped. He got the message. "Hobson's choice it is. Looks like I've found a new job."_

"_I knew you'd see it our way. You don't get seasick, do you?" _

"_Um...no. By the way, you never told me where these 'items' are being retrieved from. Is it in Tokyo?"_

"_Mmm-hmmm." rumbled Dutch. "We're going to be hitting the archeology wing of Tokyo University's history and science buildings. That's where all of the items are."_

_Rock gasped. "That's where my brother went to school...I hate that guy..." he trailed off._

_Dutch just chuckled. "Oh, Rock...one other thing."_

"_Yes?"_

_Dutch turned around in his seat and extended a meaty paw. _

"_Welcome aboard."

* * *

_

Oh hai, looks like this chapter is in the books. I hope I didn't disappoint you _TOO MUCH_ because I know I _did _disappoint. I tell you that the real plot is going to be released in the next chapter and the real plot is...Keitaro gets into Todai and Naru doesn't? That's what I made you guys wait all this time for? Lol, I suck.

Though, I suppose I did make it clear early on that this story's plot wouldn't get too wild. It's not like it was going to be _'Keitaro gets to Hinata house but he's a transvestite and Tomo is a serial killer and then Jack Black shows up and he's a dingly-dang...'_

But then, I suppose that part at the end there is pretty dingly-dang-ish, eh? And wtf is a dingly-dang? I don't even know what I'm typing anymore. Shit. I bet you guys didn't expect that goofy crap from chapter two to go anywhere, eh?

I kind of like BitterJerk!Shirai. I think I'll bring him back, though I'm not sure where. He's a fun counterpoint to Naru.

I'm going to say in advance that the chapters aren't going to come as quickly as they used to. Real life just sorta jumped up and bit me on the ass. But, don't ever consider this story dead unless I say so. BECUZ I SEZ SO!

And, I just took a gander at my stats. Damn. 98 reviews? That's a lot. And between the favs and watches, I have like 200 people waiting for the next chapter.

And I hope that some of those people (as well as first time readers) will leave reviews to tell me how I'm doing. Because I do read them all and I do try to take some of the (not crappy) advice into consideration.

Well, I've rambled on enough.

TEA AND CAKE OR DEATH?


	5. one of THOSE chapters

You're all going to hate me...

Anyway. This story. One of my first ever attempts at Fanfiction. Written at a time when I had just read Love Hina and kind of liked it.

Unfortunately, since that time...I've kind of been turned off of Love Hina...and harem anime in general. For whatever reason, I've totally lost any love for it and actually find it kind of meh.

I actually had the fifth chapter mostly written...and then a computer issue meant I lost it.

I kept saying 'oh, I'll rewrite it, and then maybe do a few more chapters and call the story done'. But, it's been more than a year and that still hasn't happened. I can't find any gumption to finish this story.

Combine all of those things with the fact that I'm now working 10-12 hour days and there's literally no chance of me ever going anywhere with this story ever again.

So, I'm going to mark this one as complete and stick a fork in it. It's done.

I do want to thank everyone who read and reviewed this. I really appreciated all of the feedback and comments. It was nice to know that my first attempt was halfway decent, anyway.

Cheers! And sorry again.

PS - I still love Azumanga Daioh, and highly suggest that anyone who hasn't seen/read it yet seek out either the manga or the anime. THey're both fantastic.


End file.
